A Fetish For Secrets?
by ShadesofImagination
Summary: A grouping of one-shots centered around 'secrets'. Everyone has things they like to keep secret, some of our favorite men just seem to have more than others. Slashy Fun, multiple pairings.
1. Genesis: Glasses

**Saw a picture of Gen with glasses. Damn. That is all. **

**These characters are property of not myself. I just enjoy toying with them.**

Sometimes beating the shit out of everything wasn't sufficient stress relief. Sometimes one just needed some peace and quiet to clear their mind. When feeling like this Genesis would hole himself up in an old training room at the back of the ShinRa compound and read for a few hours. Usually LOVELESS, but every once in a while he picked up one of the books Angeal randomly brought him.

Today was a typical day and he needed to escape before he caused another scene. Sephiroth had promised he wouldn't be covering for the red-head the next time he burnt half the building down.

Genesis was sitting in the corner next to the door, hidden from any peeking eyes, his copy of LOVELESS opened to Act III. He'd been there for an hour at least and was finally starting to calm down; the tension easing from his shoulders, his frown being replaced by a soft, content smile.

His moment of serenity was shattered, however, by the sudden opening of doors. A blonde cadet stepped into the room, proceeded to the center of the mats and flopped down on to his back with a groan.

Genesis stared, open mouthed, at the cadet that had dared enter his sanctuary. Deep blue eyes narrowed and he snapped the book closed.

"Who the fuck are you?" He snarled. All traces of relaxation gone.

The cadet jumped up and whirled around, eyes finally landing on the Red Commander. He stared at the man for a long moment before snapping out of it and giving a quick salute. "Sir!"

Genesis reached up to massage his temples, trying to reign in his temper and let out a long string of curses. He grabbed the slim, silver metal of his reading glasses and yanked them off. "Son of a fucking bitch, Cadet, get the hell out!"

The cadet froze, whether it was in fear or just plain stupidity, Genesis wasn't sure. The Commander got to his feet and stomped over to the immobile cadet. He grabbed him roughly by his collar and jerked him close.

"Who the hell are you?" He hissed.

"C-cloud Strife, sir."

"Well Cloud, do you see these?" He waved the reading glasses next to the blonde's face and felt the boy nod. "These are the best kept secret in Shinra. Do you understand what that means?"

"I w-won't tell anyone, sir."

He dropped the cadet into a heap on the floor. "Good. Now, would you like to tell me what you are doing in here? I was unaware that this room was open to Cadets."

Cloud stood up and brushed his uniform off quickly, trying to smooth it out. "I come here sometimes because it's quiet. I've seen you leaving before."

Genesis paused. How had he not seen Cloud before? He took a step back and looked at the cadet. He was rather young, probably sixteen or seventeen, and an expressive face; pretty. The Commander had never been one for sharing but today he was willing to make an exception.

"Your side." He pointed to the right half of the room and then to the left. "My side. You can stay." With that said, he turned around and went back to his corner, putting his reading glasses back on and flipping the book open once again.

Cloud watched the man walk away and scrambled to the far wall. He was alive! He flushed, thinking about how he'd been openly staring at the man before. He was hot on a normal day, but with those glasses? Damn, that was sexy beyond reason. Even now he couldn't stop staring. He hadn't brought anything to occupy himself with like the Commander had and he just hoped the man wouldn't look up and catch him. He'd already escaped death once today, better not push his luck too far.

Genesis seemed pretty absorbed in whatever he was reading. Most likely, LOVELESS. He'd heard people talk about how the pretty Commander was always quoting it. Cloud's mouth fell open a little as he watched the man raise his hand to his lips and peel off the glove with his teeth, dropping it in his lap. He then licked his thumb and index finger, wetting them just enough to get a grip on the page.

The blonde wasn't sure how long he sat there watching Genesis repeat the action but when mako-bright eyes met his he knew he'd been caught. Cloud jumped up and hustled to the door. He snapped a quick salute to the First and was out the door and down the hall as fast as he could manage. He ran all the way to Zack and his shared apartment, barreling through the door and slamming it closed. His heart was racing and he was almost expecting the door to be broken down and then skewered by Rapier for staring so blatantly.

"You okay, Spike?" Cloud jumped and whipped around.

"Fine!" He squeaked.

Zack arched an eyebrow. "Right. So, tell me why you look like you got caught stealing from Seph's cookie jar."

Cloud stared at Zack and opened his mouth to speak. He shut it and pointed at his eyes and then proceeded to babble senselessly about sexy red hair and licking fingers to turn the pages.

"Whoa, whoa, kid. Slow down."

The blonde took a deep breath and let it out noisily. "I'm still alive."

"I can see that?"

"Zack, I'm such an idiot." He groaned, leaning against the older man. "I thought he was gonna kill me."

"Who?"

"The Commander."

"Angeal? He wouldn't hurt you, kid."

"Not him."

Zack blinked. "Oh. OH. What'd you do to piss Gen off?"

Cloud mumbled into Zack's shoulder, his ears going pink.

"I can't hear you, Chocobo."

The younger shot him a glare as he stood up right. "I was staring at him. But, it's not my fault, he just had to sit there and lick his fingers, turning those pages, over and over and over and over and I just couldn't help it. It's _his_ fault." Cloud huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. "And where does he get off having such pretty eyes? And using his teeth to pull of his gloves, what the hell is that about? Anyone would stare at that! And those glasses. Ho-ly. Planet. The glasses." Zack's outburst of laughter made him snap his mouth shut. He'd been rambling, about Commander Rhapsodos and how sexy he was.

"I'm…I'm so sorry….Spike. I just…can't help it." Zack said between fits of laughter. He was almost cackling by now and Cloud covered his face with his hands.

"Fuuuuck."

"Fuck is right." Zack choked out, wiping the tears from his eyes. "You've so got the hots for him, kid."

"Thank you for the newsflash, Zack."

Zack grabbed his hands and steered him over to the couch, sitting them both down. The brunette turned to him with a strange look.

"What did you mean glasses?"

Cloud eyes widened. "Shit! I wasn't supposed to tell anyone. Now he really will kill me! Zack, you can't say anything!"

"Gen wears glasses? Well, damn!" Zack smirked. This was going to be perfect.

"Zack! You can't tell anyone, please."

Zack rolled his eyes. "Okay, Spikey, this is what we're gonna do." He hopped up from the couch to stand in front of it. "You! Are going to tell him that you think his glasses are sexy and that if he keeps licking his fingers like that you're going to jump him right there."

"What?" Cloud shrieked, jumping to his feet. "Are you an idiot? I can't do that. I'm not fucking suicidal!"

"Ah, ah, ah. If you don't, I might have to mention to Gen that a little blonde chocobo told me that he wears glasses." Zack couldn't help the smug smile that spread across his face.

Cloud blanched at that. "W-w-w-what! W-why? Zack!" He spluttered but Zack was too busy shoving him toward the door to answer. With a final smile he kicked the blonde out the door, slamming it closed and locking it.

"Have fun, Chocobo!" He called through the door.

"Zack, let me it!" He yelled, banging on the door. Zack's loud and horribly off key singing was his only answer. Cloud scowled at the door, shoving his hands into his pockets and fishing around for his keycard. When he came of blank he kicked the door and stomped off down the hallway. There was no way Zack was good enough to steal it. It must have fallen out in his clumsy rush to get out of the training room.

He retraced his steps. Peeking around every corner to make sure that it was clear before hurrying down. When he finally made it to the training rooms, he stood up on his toes and peeked through the door windows. The room appeared empty and he spotted his keycard sitting in the corner he'd been in earlier.

Without further hesitation he pushed the doors open and trotted over to the card, swiping it up with a triumphant cry.

"I was wondering when you were going to come back." Came a lazy voice from behind him.

Cloud jumped and let out a decidedly un-manly shriek, once again, and whipped around. Genesis was leaning against the wall by the doors with an amused look.

"S-s-sorry, Sir."

The First waved a hand casually. "So, tell me, Cadet. Why were you staring and why were you doing it so obviously?" He asked, pushing himself away from the wall and walking to Cloud.

"I-um, I was just-I mean…" He trailed off, Zack's words echoing in his mind.

"You were just what, Cadet?" The red-head snapped, stopping directly in from of him.

"I-You…, well-Your glasses are fucking hot, okay?" Cloud said in a rush then gasped, realizing he'd actually said that out-loud, and felt himself blush. What the hell was he thinking?

Genesis was looking down at the blonde, eyes wide. "You think…my glasses are…hot?"

Cloud nodded not trusting himself to speak.

"I…um, thank you, Cadet."

"Cloud," he mumbled.

"What?"

"My name, it's Cloud."

Genesis felt himself smile. "Thank you, _Cloud_."

"I'll be going now, sir." Cloud said quietly, going to side step the First when a hand caught his arm.

"You know," Genesis said, leaning in close to Cloud's face. "I think you're…._hot_, too." He placed a quick kiss on the blondes warm cheek before turning and making his way to the door.

Cloud stood in stunned silence for a second. "Hey!" He yelled, finding his voice. "You can't just walk away like that."

Genesis looked over his shoulder, arching an eyebrow. "I can't?"

"No." Cloud said. Making up his mind, he walked over to the red head, grabbed the collar of his shirt and jerked him down into a rough kiss. He felt the man tense for a second then relax and push Cloud roughly into the wall, pushing his tongue into the younger man's mouth. Cloud moaned into the kiss, reaching up and threading his fingers into auburn hair. They finally broke apart, both gasping for air.

Genesis brought a hand up to Cloud's cheek, pushing a few stray strands of light hair out of the way. "I think…I need to wear those glasses more often."

Cloud gave him a odd look and then burst into laughter. "Yeah…you fucking do."

…

…

**And, done. I was playing around with Cloud's thought process a bit. I wanted him to seem a little bit more…teenagerish I guess. Hence the spluttering and rambling. **


	2. Sephiroth: Cereal

**It's the Littlest Things**

**A/N: Too many ideas! I feel like I'm drowning in one-shots. The second chapter for DA is done and just being tweaked right now- hopefully I'll be posting it soon. Anyway, **_**this **_**piece of…whatever this is came about while I was eating breakfast because, you know what? I LOVE CEREAL. Especially the kind with marshmallows in it. So why not Seph too, hmm? Exactly. **

**Rating: K+, I actually think I managed to write something without swearing once. Wow.**

**Warnings: Cutesy piles of fluff and the ever present man-love. **

**Summary: Secrets are something we all keep but Sephiroth has just a few more than your average person. His eating habits seem to fall under this as well…**

The silver General had many secrets- the fact that he loved sugary cereal was just one of many things he kept hidden. It would definitely not be good for his men to find out that he spent most mornings, between lunches, and right before bed pushing brightly colored marshmallow things around a sea of milk. The leader of the Shin-Ra army and Demon of Wutai just didn't do things like that- or so people thought.

It was just like every other morning for Sephiroth. He'd woken up, taken a shower long enough to wash and condition his hair, and was now sitting at his dining table pushing his cereal around.

Lately he'd been wishing there was someone there to see him do these ridiculous things- someone other than Genesis, who seemed to find out _everything_. The red-head was a good friend though, he just smiled every time he discovered something new and kept it to himself. Mostly anyway. The shaving thing not withstanding. He finished up his cereal and put the bowl in the sink to be washed later that night. With a last glance around the room he grabbed Masamune and his jacket and was out the door.

Today he'd put his hair up with the chopsticks Tseng had given him for Christmas. Genesis had been a little shocked at the gift, thinking it was a little strange to receive cutlery, but after the Turk explained they were popular for those with long hair in Wutai he'd had far too much fun with it. They'd settled on a messy style with lots of hair hanging around his face. He didn't wear it up in public generally but today he was feeling more bold than usual and he thought it went well with the suit he'd convinced Shinra to let him wear when he wasn't doing public appearances.

His secretary gave him a cheerful wave. "You hair looks lovely this morning, sir." She was smiling at him openly- the only woman in Shin-Ra he couldn't reduce to a simpering puddle and he adored her for it.

"Thank you, May. You're looking wonderful as well." She laughed at him and handed him a small stack of papers.

"Commander Hewley sent this up a little bit ago, the young man is in your office waiting for you again."

He inclined his head to her, slipping the papers under his arm and opened the door. Zackary was indeed in his office and seated behind his desk looking much too cheerful.

"Lieutenant, vacate my chair, _please_."

Zack hopped up and bounced around to the other side, settling for leaning on his desk instead of sitting. "I set you up."

"Excuse me?"

"A date, Seph, I set you up on one."

He stopped on his way around the desk to stare at his friend in horror. The last time he'd been set up Genesis had chosen the most flamboyantly gay man on the planet who had a hair fetish. He was never, _never_, repeating that experience again. "No."

"Oh come on, Seph! He's a really sweet guy, you'll love him."

"I said no." He replied in an icy tone.

The younger man, given no other choice, turned big, watery eyes on him and clasped his hands together. "Please? He's really excited to meet you and I swear, I swear, I swear, he's not some groupie or anything like that. He's a country boy, like me!"

Sephiroth pursed his lips as he stared down at one of his best friends. The man was obviously insane. Like him? Why would he want to date a crazed monster-puppy? Zack bounded around the desk and started clicking away at his computer.

"Here look, isn't he cute?" He was looking over his shoulder at the General expectantly.

Sephiroth peered over hesitantly and much to his surprise, Zack wasn't lying. The boy on the screen _was _cute. "A cadet? Zackary…"

"He's legal, promise. He just turned seventeen last weekend." Zack's violet eyes were full of unabashed hope and he sighed. Angeal would never let him hear the end of it if he made Zack cry again…

"Fine, I will take…Cloud Strife on a…_date._" He spit the last work like it left a bitter taste in his mouth.

Zack cheered at the top of his lungs and started babbling about places to go and things to do. The kid hadn't really been anywhere in Midgar so anything was fine evidently.

"Oh, by the way, you should wear your hair like that more often." The dark-haired man reached out and brushed a bit of it away from his face. "It looks good on you."

"Thank you. Now if you would…" He waved a hand toward the door as he pulled out a slim pair of reading glasses. The metal frames clicked together as he opened them and slid them on. "I have work to do."

"Right-o!" And Zack was gone.

Sephiroth was _nervous_, a feeling he decided he didn't like in the least and would endeavor to never feel again. He was waiting in the lobby of the Shin-Ra building, it was two minutes to six and the little blonde was supposed to be there soon. He'd taken Zack's advice and worn his hair up again. After finishing up his paper work a shower had been in order and he'd spent a little while picking out something to wear. Evidently leathers and Masamune were not the thing to wear in public. Sephiroth had finally settled on a pair of black slacks, a white button down with the sleeves rolled up mid-forearm, and his boots- they were too comfortable to even bother buying any other shoes.

"Sir?" A soft voice asked from behind him and he turned.

"Cloud?" The blonde nodded with a small smile. He was short, barely reaching Sephiroth's shoulder. "It's nice to meet you."

He waved a hand to the doors. "Shall we go?"

"Yes, sir."

The General arched an eyebrow, wondering why the blonde was using a formality in such a setting. He quickly shrugged it off as an etiquette issue.

After a silent car ride, they ended up below the plate, walking around Wall Market. Zack had mentioned that Cloud had often asked about the shopping district below the plate and figured they could go there and grab something to eat on the way out.

Cloud's eyes were skirting over everything, occasionally stopping on different items for a moment before moving on to the next thing. He was shifting nervously from foot to foot.

"Are you alright?" Sephiroth asked.

"Yes, sir…I was just wondering why we were here…" He trailed off as his cheeks colored a bit.

Why were they here? Sephiroth gave him a strange look. "Isn't this what one normally does when on a…date?" He asked after a pause.

Cloud's eyes went wide and his mouth dropped open a little. "D-d-d-d-date?" He squeaked and Sephiroth frowned.

"Yes. I believe that is what Zackary classified this as." Cloud looked away then and he could see the tips of his ears going red. He was mumbling to himself and he could only make out a few words. 'Kill' and 'Zack' seemed to be the most common.

"Cloud?"

"Sorry, sir…I had, uhm, I had no I-idea that this was a-I mean that we were…uhm…" They had stopped in front of a materia vendor and the man was watching them with an amused look.

"Zackary…" Sephiroth ground out, all the pieces falling into place. He knew the man had looked _much_ too cheerful.

Cloud scuffed his boot on the ground. "He said you wanted to talk to me about…cereal." The last word was whispered.

"What!" Sephiroth shouted, then quickly covered his mouth, trying again a little quieter. "He said _what_?"

The blonde looked up at him with a nervous smile. "W-well, this morning I was eating breakfast and I was pushing my cereal around when Zack came up. He gave me this funny look and asked if that was my favorite kind and I said yes. After that he started grinning and rambling on about something. He…he eventually dragged Commander Hewley to the table and was pointing at me and after that he just said that the General would like to speak with me tonight at 6pm in the lobby about the cereal…" He trailed off looking highly embarrassed.

Sephiroth was horrified. How had Zackary known about the cereal? Of all the people that didn't need to know anything about him why had _that one _figured it out?

"You like cereal?" He questioned without thinking.

"Uhm, yeah I eat it all the time. The ladies in the kitchen always set some aside for me." He gave the General a sheepish smile.

He stared at the cadet for a while, almost sure that the boy could see his mind moving a million miles an hour. Maybe, just maybe, Angeal's puppy had been on to something here.

"Cloud Strife, would you like to go on a date with me?" He asked in a rush.

Cloud blanched. "Excuse me, s-sir?"

"Sephiroth, and I asked, would you like to go on a date with me?"

"I-uhm, I mean I…"

"Just say yes, kid." The cart owner interrupted, grinning at the two of them.

"Yes."

Someone let out an excited 'awww' and the two men jerked their heads up to see a small crowd of mostly women gathered around them. They were all pointing and some of them were even clapping. The two blushed furiously and Sephiroth grabbed Clouds hand pulling him through the mass of people. Maybe they would skip shopping and go find somewhere to eat; somewhere that had cereal.

As he walked Cloud to his bunk that night, holding his hand and reflecting on the day, he decided he would have to thank Zackary and maybe share a few more of his secrets sometime- willingly for once.

**I think I'm going to keep posting one-shots that are all 'secret' related in here. They will mostly stand alone I think but if they tie into each other I'll make sure to put a note. Thanks for reading!**


	3. Sephiroth: Windex

**Where to put the Windex…**

**I, in no way, recommend anyone do this, okay? I don't think that's what Windex is meant to be used for…but I've never checked the bottle. Got this idea from a friend who was babbling about 'My Big Fat Geek Wedding'…ahahaha, Windex.**

**Rating: G. Gen needs his own rating in my stories.**

**Warnings: Mentions of ASZGC? I don't think that needs to be a warning…and serious Sephiroth embarrassment.**

**Summary: Genesis and Cloud are moving in with Seph and his biggest worry is? Where to put the Windex…**

When Sephiroth had entered into a relationship with his four friends, he'd been thrilled. They were all wonderful men and he was even excited to have Genesis and Cloud move in with him. However, the night before the two were set to move in, a very distressing thought occurred to him. Where to hide the Windex…He slid out of bed and grabbed the blue bottle from under the bathroom sink. Maybe he could just leave it there? Bathrooms had mirrors so it was plausible that he would keep it in there. But he wasn't messy and he didn't want the other two to think he was. The General frowned. He had a cleaning closet that had everything_- but the Windex_- that a maid, or whoever, could possibly dream up.

He trotted out into the hall and pulled the door open, blue bottle in hand. He could just set it in there and get it whenever the other two were out of the house. Yes, that would work. Sephiroth bit his lip. There were yucky things in that closet! Sponges that had been on the floor and toilet brushes. Ugh.

Quickly, he went back to the bathroom, stuffing the bottle of blue liquid back under the sink where it had been before. There. They probably wouldn't even notice.

Sephiroth had been right, two of his loves moved in and things were great. They didn't even notice the inconspicuous blue bottle- until one day, three months later.

"Seph?" Cloud called from the bathroom. "Do you have any Windex? I got finger prints on the mirror."

"Under the sink." He'd called back, his stomach tightening at the thought of actually _cleaning _something with it.

A cheerful 'thanks' was his reply.

Genesis poked his head out of the kitchen. "Is that where it is? I couldn't find it last week and had to clean the front window with soap and water."

Sephiroth jumped- actually jumped- having been so caught up in worrying about Cloud, in the bathroom, with the Windex, to really notice Genesis.

"Are you alright, Seph?" Genesis was looking at him with concern. "I don't think I've seen you jump like that since we were at least sixteen."

"I'm fine."

Cloud came down the hall then, smiling and holding a blue bottle. "I'll put this in the cleaning closet with the other supplies." He said cheerfully and Sephiroth felt his heart drop. No! It was gross in there, didn't Cloud realize that? He watched in barely concealed horror as Cloud placed it next to the toilet bowl cleaner and shut the door with a snap.

That night Sephiroth lay in bed listening two the other two breathing. When their breaths finally evened out, he silently slipped out of bed and down the hall to the closet. He snatched the bottle and made his way back into the bathroom. Shutting the door quietly, he flipped on the light and set the bottle in the sink. It definitely needed a bath after having to live in that…_closet_ for half the day.

With gentle hands he set the bottle under a warm spray and soaped it up. He was reaching for a towel when the door slid open and a groggy Genesis wandered in.

"Seph? What're you doin'?" He mumbled.

Green eyes widened and he froze. "I…forgot to wash my face."

"But I watched you do that in the shower." Genesis rubbed his face, starting to wake up a little. His eyes caught the blue in their white sink and he quirked his head to the side. "You wash your face with Windex?"

"No."

"Then why is it in here?"

"Because."

"Because, isn't an answer, Seph."

"It is now."

"No." Genesis frowned at him, now fully awake. "Seph, why are you clutching that bottle of Windex like it's your child." He snapped, hands on his hips. His red robe was falling open and any other night Sephiroth would have had a hard time keeping his hands to himself. However, there were more important things at stake here.

"I'm…not." He said slowly and Genesis rolled his eyes. The red-head reached to grab the bottle and he jerked it back out of his reach.

"See! You are!"

"I am not!" He said petulantly. "Go back to bed."

"Not until you tell me what the hell you're doing with a bottle of Windex at midnight."

Sephiroth's frown deepened. What would Genesis think if he'd told him he was washing it because it was probably covered in nasty germy things…he'd probably make fun of him until the day he died. But what else could he say? Cloud had cleaned the mirror earlier that day so that excuse was out and he was pretty sure his lover wouldn't believe he couldn't sleep because mirror smudges were haunting him anyway.

"Well, Sephiroth?"

"I can't just leave it in the closet."

Genesis arched an eyebrow at him. "Why the fuck not? That's where it goes."

"No. It's dirty in there."

The red-head gave him an incredulous look. "Seph, it's a cleaning product! It goes where other cleaning products go, it's meant to be close to dirty things." Genesis said, making little air quite around 'dirty'. He ran a hand through his auburn hair and shook his head. "Tell me now or I'll wake Cloud up to do the kicked chocobo look."

Sephiroth almost gasped. "You wouldn't."

"I would. Now tell me."

Genesis watched the silver General fidget- _fidget_!- in his own bathroom, a bottle of blue liquid in his hands. If he'd been a little less in awe he might have raced out of the room to get a camera.

"I don't use it for cleaning I use it for…my hair." His cheeks were stained pink and the red-heads mouth fell open. For his _hair_?

Sephiroth set the bottle under the sink and looked down at his feet. Even his ears were starting to color which was kind of cute- no, no! Focus Rhapsodos. Your boyfriend just admitted he used Windex on his hair!

"R-really, Seph?" A hand flew to his mouth but it couldn't stop the laughter that was starting to bubble out. If there was any doubt in his mind that the great General of the Shin-Ra army was blushing before, it was gone now. He was beet red and glaring at Genesis. "_Shiva_, Seph, really?" He was leaning on the door now, hand clutching his stomach as he laughed.

Sephiroth moved to push past him and he grabbed for him. "No, don't go, I'm sorry-I just would have never thought of that." He wiped at the tears on his face quickly and grabbed a handful of Seph's hair. Raising it to his face he sniffed. There is was, if he really paid attention he could just barely catch a whiff of the cleaner under the shampoo and different kinds of conditioner.

The hair was tugged out of his grasp and the look that Sephiroth gave him was almost enough to send him back into hysterical laughter. "Don't. Tell. Anyone. Genesis, Please?" He asked, his face screwed up in a pout.

"I won't, I won't." He assured the man who nodded and pulled him back into their bedroom.

"Let's go back to bed." His voice was quiet and Genesis was pretty sure he was still blushing. He snickered as he got under the covers and snuggled up to Cloud. He threw a hand over the blondes waist and twined his fingers into that long, silver hair.

Sephiroth fell asleep that night listening to Genesis snicker to himself, occasionally mumbling about Windex. He would get the red-head for making him blush if it was the last thing he ever did.

**Ahahahaha, I had so much fun writing this. Blushing Seph is just too cute.**


	4. Cloud: Not So Secret

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed, put this story on alert, added it to their favorites, etc. It means a lot. **

**Okay here we go! This one is Cloud. There's a poll on my profile related to whose secrets you want to see. If I didn't put a character up there that you want PM me. As long as it's not Fat-Man Shinra I can probably do it. **

**Rating: T**

**Warnings: Severe embarrassment on Cloud's part and I guess you could say Zack is being a jerk…sorta.**

**Summary: Cloud's not good at keeping secrets, especially not if his best friend is running around proclaiming his love for people…**

**Not So Secret**

Cloud Strife's biggest secret was, perhaps, not so secret. When one turned into a stuttering, blushing, pile of blonde putty whenever a certain silver General happened to be in the vicinity, it was rather obvious. Cloud had a crush on the man; a big one, if the level of his blush was any indication, and Zack Fair found it hilarious.

"Spike?" He waved a hand in front of the blondes unseeing eyes and chuckled to himself.

"Hey, Seph! Come here a sec, would ya?" He called. The General over to him and made his way across the courtyard, nodding to the other greetings he received.

Cloud was staring at Zack in horror and made to get away but a firm hand on his collar stopped him and he whimpered. "Zack lemme go."

"Sorry blondie, I'm tired of all the googoo eyes. He doesn't bite." Cloud made some kind of spluttering noise and this time Zack laughed loudly.

"Is something funny, Zackary?" A cool voice asked and he looked up into the face of his best friend and superior officer.

"Why yes, Seph, there is." He hauled Cloud around and shoved him into the General. "This is Cloud Strife and he's obviously in love with you. Have a good day, sir." He snapped a quick salute and, flashing a grin, high tailed it away from the two.

Sephiroth's eyes widened slightly as he stared down at a mass of blonde spikes and red face. He took a quick step back and straightened his leathers. Cloud looked like he was going to throw-up and he really didn't want to be on the receiving end of that. He watched as the other opened and closed his mouth a few times before giving him a shaky salute and fairly running away.

That was…awkward, he thought. The cadet hadn't denied what Zackary had said and was obviously embarrassed. Maybe it was true? Sephiroth felt himself frown. He was no good at this sort of thing; this was Genesis' and Angeal's territory. The dark-haired First would probably just give him another lecture on honor though, especially since the boy looked so young. With that thought in mind, he made his way to the red Commander's office.

He walked in without knocking and sat on the couch by the window. "Genesis, what do you do when someone tells you that someone else is in love with you?" He asked flatly.

His friend's face screwed up in some unreadable emotion. "What?"

Sephiroth calmly relayed what had happened in the courtyard, skipping over the throwing up bit, and ending with Cloud running away.

"Cloud?" Genesis tapped his lips in thought. "That pretty little cadet that runs around with the puppy?"

"I assume so." Zackary was obviously well acquainted with the blonde if he was taking so much joy out of his embarrassment- a joy reserved only for his closest friends.

"Hmm…" Genesis was tapping his desk with a pen and for a moment Sephiroth contemplated smacking him upside the head- few things were more annoying than the steady tapping of a pen… "He's cute."

"You have said as much." Though Sephiroth had to agree, the blonde had been quite…_cute. _Messy blonde hair, clear blue eyes and rather petite- definitely cute.

The Commander shrugged. "It warrants being said on multiple occasions. They don't make men like that anymore…" He trailed off with a glassy look.

"Genesis," he growled. "Is this…okay?" He really was at a loss, having only been in one relationship and that being with the man in the room with him.

"It is rather splendid, actually." Genesis turned to him with a sly smile. "I was almost considering bringing him home one evening to play, would you like that, Seph?"

His head tilted in thought, not missing the hopeful look on his lover's face. _Would _he like that? Maybe…an image of Cloud panting on their sheets rose in his mind and he nodded. Yes, he would definitely like that. "And you're…okay with that?"

The red-head just laughed at him and waved a hand in a nonchalant manner. "Obviously."

Cloud had never been so mortified in his life. The General had just stood there…looking as much like a chocobo in the head lights as was possible for the man to look. He was going to murder Zack when he found him, mako-enhancements be damned.

He'd skipped his last class of the day, Survival Skills, and was currently sitting in the far corner of the track. It was clear at this hour and he was thankful for that. He groaned and fell back onto the grass. Zack was such a jerk sometimes. The opening of a door caught his attention and he angled his head towards it. His stomach dropped and the urge to bash his head on a concrete wall was almost too strong to deny. Instead he slunk back against the fence, hoping to hide.

The General and Commander Rhapsodos were walking toward the track talking to each other, swords drawn and smiling. Maybe they were going to spar outside. Zack had mentioned that they ended up destroying the training rooms most of the time and the Director was getting on their case about it.

No such luck. To his horror, they passed the track and continued walking toward him. When they stopped, he scrambled to his feet and gave a hasty salute. "Sirs."

"At ease," the Commander said with an amused smile. "Are you Cloud Strife?"

"Y-yes, sir."

"You're skipping class. Why?"

His eyes widened a little bit. "I-uhm…"

"Genesis," the General glared at the red-head who only smirked back.

"Fine. We'll let you off the hook if you do something for us." He said with a cheerful smile. The General nodded in agreement with him and Cloud frowned, beyond confused.

"Sir?"

"All you need to do is answer the question." The commander said with a sly smile.

"And the question is…sir?"

"Are you in love with me, Cloud?" Sephiroth asked, laying his head on the red-head's shoulder.

"I-uh- well I'm…I-yeah. I am. I'm in love with you." His managed, blushing scarlet.

Genesis, in a momentary lapse of self control, took pity on the very flustered, very pretty little cadet. "I purposefully mismatch my socks."

"Uh…what?" Cloud asked, ever the articulate one and Genesis laughed.

"The pup told one of your secrets, so I assumed it was polite to tell you one of mine."

Sephiroth straightened and laced his fingers with Genesis'. "We're together, and we both find you very attractive."

"That's not a secret, Seph."

"It's not?" He arched an eyebrow at the red commander. "Fine. My favorite bath towel has a cartoon chocobo on it."

Cloud was staring at them, mouth hanging open, eyes wide. "I-okay."

"Okay?"

"Yep. I'm dreaming. Okay." The blonde said with a slow nod.

The two of them shared a look and laughed. They each took one of Cloud's hands and led him back toward the building. Once he was convinced that he _wasn't _dreaming, he agreed to go on a date with them- as long as they shared a few, more embarrassing, secrets.

**Not the best but I couldn't get it out of my head. Next up? Angeal.**


	5. Angeal: Hypocritical?

**A/N: Angeal is now a victim to the secret machine in my brain. Poor guys. Here you are Tobi, hopefully it's not at all what you were expecting. **

**Rating: K+**

**Warnings: Gross food!**

**Summary: The hypocrite'o'potamous is very hungry. **

**Hypocritical Are We?**

Angeal Hewley was many things. Polite? As possible as could be. A good friend? Definitely. An over bearing mother hen? Absolutely. He could be classified as the following as well: a control freak, an exercise maniac, a sometimes too tender lover, and a health nut. He was also _a hypocrite._

Yes, Angeal was a hypocrite. Believe it.

Now, many would ask why such a thing could be said of the very honorable First Class SOLDIER. Well, that would be because he had a secret- many actually but for now the focus is on this specific one.

SOLDIER First Class Angeal Hewley, over bearing mother hen to his friends, control freak of the highest, and health nut extraordinaire…loves Twinkies.

Which is why Angeal was seated in the closet of the bedroom he shared with his lovers. The four of them had gone out early that morning to grocery shop. The dark-haired commander had waved them off with a cheerful smile, saying he wanted to do a few things around the house while they were gone. After a round of kisses and hugs they had left leaving Angeal to sigh and wait the customary ten minutes.

He quickly checked the blinds, making sure they were completely shut, and locked the door before heading to the closet. He snapped the doors closed and shuffled around in his old rucksack from cadet training. (Did anyone mention he was paranoid too?) There at the bottom was a small white box with a yellow pastry smiling up at him. With a happy sigh he pulled one out and bit into it.

This was a routine of sorts. Whenever his lovers were out he would sneak back there and devour one of the snacks. It was working out splendidly until one day when Sephiroth had apparently lost a sock- his favorite socks that Cloud had given him for his birthday; they were a neon blue with a rainbow of little chocobo dancing across them.

He was rummaging around in the closet when something in the corner caught his eyes. Sephiroth pulled at Angeal's old bag, tugging it out of it's hiding place and placing it up on the bed. He frowned down at the box tucked neatly in it's folds.

"Twinkies?" He questioned the empty room.

Holding the box he wandered out into the living room, looking rather confused. "What is a Twinkie?" He asked.

"A really fattening cake." Genesis answered, not bothering to question why Sephiroth was all of a sudden wondering about nasty food.

Angeal froze and watched in horror as Sephiroth held up the box for the other three to see. Zack snatched it away from the General and crowed in happiness. "Where'd you find these, Seph?" He tore open the box and Angeal winced.

"They were in Angeal's old bag in the closet."

All eyes turned to him and he hurried to look confused. He arched an eyebrow and tipped his head a little to the right. "My bag?"

"Indeed," said the General, taking the Twinkie Zack was holding out to him with a look of mild disgust.

Genesis was giving him a strange look and he cried a little on the inside. His long time friend _always_ knew when he was lying. "Why were there Twinkies in your bag?"

"I have no clue." He replied with a shrug. Genesis wasn't fooled and let out a bark of laughter that quickly turned into a giggle.

"You-you eat these, don't you?"

Cloud peered over Genesis' shoulder, having been sitting on his lap before his fit started. "But you're so crazy about what we eat."

Angeal scowled. "You need to eat healthy so you stay healthy." He muttered, ignoring the red-head's question all-together.

"So do you," Zack piped up with a grin and Cloud nodded in agreement. Sephiroth was leaning against the couch with an amused look. It was hard to keep secrets when you had four horribly nosy lovers as he was well aware.

"So it's true! These _are _yours." Genesis was fairly cackling by now and Angeal felt the tell tale signs of a blush creeping up his cheeks. He wanted to deny it. It would be easy enough to blame it on the pup. He ate anything; garbage included and the occasional pet treat. However, his honor wouldn't allow him to do something to low. It was already screaming at him about even eating the evil yellow cakes in the first place. He was too busy arguing with himself to notice that Genesis' laughter had died down and no one was accusing him of anything anymore.

When he looked up, the room was silent; four sets of eyes were focused on him and he felt his palms start to sweat. Were they going to say anything?

Five minutes later it was evident they were not. Genesis hadn't even snorted once. They knew him too well and they were using his conscience against him. It was like some reverse psychology that let the guilt eat him from the inside out, starting with the Twinkie he'd eaten earlier that day.

"Fine!" He yelled, slamming a hand down on the dining table. "I eat them okay? Yes. I like Twinkies. Is there something wrong with that. They're just cake. It's not like that garbage you four are always eating." He continued to ramble until a camera flash and stopped him mid hand-flap.

"Did you just-"

"Yep." Sephiroth was holding up the small camera he had gotten for Christmas and was smirking. He held it down for the other's to look at the screen.

There was Angeal, red faced, hands in the air, mouth hanging open, looking just like an older version of Zack when he was on a sugar high.

Cloud's eyes widened and he snorted. "This one is going to the fan clubs." He said with a cheeky grin.

There was a strangled cry as Angeal threw himself at Sephiroth, reaching for the camera.

Never again. Never, ever, ever again, Angeal promised himself, was he eating another one of those stupid pastries. Amidst the tussling and screaming he belatedly realized that he had put Sephiroth's socks in the laundry this morning, with out telling the man, and that this was, actually, all his fault.

**Yes. I hate Twinkies. **


	6. Reno: Pink Cheeks and Lace

**A/N: Anyone have any idea how hard it is for a guy to write about dresses and make up? I have decided, however, that if I ever do decide to cross-dress it's definitely going to be in this style. I alluded to one of my other fics at the end of this! Which wasn't what I started out with...but just happened to sneak in there and it fit well.**

**Rating: T for language!**

**Warnings: Cross-dressing, implied sex**

****Note: I do not have anything against this style. Personally, I find it rather beautiful and those that pursue it are quite amazing. The amount of work they go through everyday would kill me. I mean no offense in anyway (just in case someone might possibly take it that way) when there is laughter at our main characters. It's them, not the clothes. ****

**Pink Cheeks and Lace**

**...In Which Red-Riding Hood Meets Alice...**

Reno No-Last-Name (Or did that count as a last name after that bastard Tseng actually changed it to that last year?), was a man of many, many talents- some good, some bad and some really, really good. As with most good things in the Turk life, these talents were exploited, quite heavily, by none other then Tseng himself; and even sometimes Rufus- though everyone knew that the good Director of the D.o.A.R. was the one that was _really_ pulling the strings.

Now, one would normally assume that Reno might be insecure about some things. Gangly, some what feminine body, flaming red hair, a slum rat's vocabulary and an all around trouble maker, but no. These things didn't phase him in the least. If anything they just made him that much more comfortable. However...

Little known fact, and point in case, Reno No-Last-Name loved dresses. And not just any dresses; the Lolita kind. Something about all that lace and the garters and those pretty little white stockings that came all the way up his thighs. Lolita- his best kept secret. His talent? Making. Them. Look. Good. But, as with most things, it was only a matter of time before _someone_ found out…

Which was why he found wanting to kill something as he exited Tseng's office one- previously- lovely Friday morning. A large black clothing bag was in his hand and he had a blush to rival his hair color splotched on his cheek. Few things made him blush and the many suggestions his boss had just made to him had probably taken the cake. It wasn't the comments themselves...it was the looks from the usually stoic man that accompanied them.

"_I'm sure Cissnei wouldn't mind helping you with your make up…but you're probably a professional yourself._

_**Smirk.**_

"_Maybe some nail polish? Red really is your color, Reno."_

_**Bigger smirk.**_

"_I always knew you plucked your eyebrows."_

_**Chuckle.**_

"_Don't forget to wash __**everywhere**__ you possibly can...I'm sure some of them men will be touching."_

_**Leeeeeeer.**_

"_Oh and Reno? Make sure to go get a wax with that money in the envelope." _

_**Smile...**_

Reno stomped into the elevator. In his frustration, and embarrassment, he hardly noticed the small blond cadet in the standing quietly corner that was giving him a rather worried look.

"Are you okay?" A soft voice asked him.

The red-head shot a glare at a fluffy head of hair. "I'm fine, yo. Don't I look fine?"

Big blue eyes widened and that's when it struck him- sudden inspiration at it's finest. Once he actually looked it was obvious. That kid was cute as hell. Petite, ridiculously blonde hair- it looked damn soft too- with those wide, innocent blue eyes, the kid was golden, literally. "What's your name, kid? And how old are you, better be over sixteen, yo."

"Cloud Strife. I'm seventeen…" The blond trailed off sounding a little confused.

_Cloud…Cloud...why was that name familiar? _Not that it really mattered, his punishment was being shared and that was all there was too it. Reno plastered a charming smile on his face and held out his hand. "Nice 'ta meet ya, kid. Names Reno."

"You're a Turk?" He asked, placing a small, soft hand in Reno's own.

"Yep. How'd you know?"

Cloud shrugged. "They've mentioned you."

"Heh, your bunk mates probably ain't got a clue, yo. Don't listen to that trash."

A strange look crossed the blonde's face- almost amused and a little wistful. "Yeah..."

"Anyway, kid, listen. Do me a favor wouldja?"

"...what could I possibly do for you?" He sounded skeptical. _Probably used to weird offers if he was that cute..._

"Oh you have no idea."

"What?"

"Nuthin, yo. Nuthin. Anyway, please? Please, please, please?" Reno scrunched up his face into a pout he'd seen Fair use on his mentor all the time. A useful skill that never failed him before.

Cloud was looking at him like he was a nut. Nothing new though, he was after all. But he could see it, the curving of the boys mouth, his eyes softening a bit. Obviously the blonde was a sucker for a guy in need.

"Is it illegal?" He asked after a bit. Reno wanted to giggle. _Gotcha!_

Instead he laughed, "No worries there, Cloudy. Just need some help with a, uh, dinner thing." His grin almost fell thinking about what was going to happen later that night. Damn he needed a smoke.

Cloud sighed and dipped his head a little bit. "Okay." He looked up and narrowed his eyes, pointing a finger at the red-head. "No trouble though."

"Hey, no worries, yo." The elevator finally opened and he latched on to the blondes arm. "Let's go!"

Five hours, a lot of urging, a quick run to the salon, a wax, a trip to a back alley shop in the slums, and much groveling later, Cloud was standing next to Reno, looking into a full length mirror. His face was pale and he was doing his best to imitate a fish. If Reno hadn't been staring at the kid as well he might have been rolling on the floor in laughter. As it was, Cloud Strife made the cutest 'Alice in Wonderland' Reno had ever had the pleasure- and he did mean pleasure- of laying eyes on.

Running around the Lolita scene had given him the opportunity to see lots of things. Good. Bad. Everything but this...this was...

"Damn," he muttered.

Cloud agreed with a quick nod. "I-I didn't know this would be so...so..._wow._"

Reno plucked at a ruffle on the lace choker Cloud was wearing. "Yeah, you like? Looks great by the way. Knew it would."

The blue of the dress matched Cloud's eyes almost perfectly- damn good luck there- and the laces on the back were nice and snug, giving him a soft hour glass shape. White-lace gloves had been slipped over delicate hands and the white ribbons one the choker matched perfectly. His legs were slim enough that the blue and white striped stockings were just right for him- something Reno didn't think he himself pulled off very well- and the little black heels made his feet look even smaller- if that was possible. He was working that apron too; the black fringe and laces tying the whole thing together. _Mmhmm, definitely a good choice to go with Alice_.

They'd painstakingly applied a thin layer of eyeliner- something Cloud didn't enjoy one bit- and a little bit of shadow for a mildly smoky look. The kid was gorgeous anyway so Reno saw no reason to cover it up with anything. His hair had taken the longest. It was short and spiky, and for a few minutes Reno considered just leaving it, but after a little wrestling with it, they finally got the center spikes pinned down and the ones of the sides straightened out to frame his face.

He peeked up at Reno through the blonde bangs and smiled shyly. "You look pretty good yourself."

Reno snorted, flipping his little red cloak out behind him, and striking a pose. "Aww, ya really think that, yo?"

Cloud giggled into a gloved hand but nodded.

The red-head surveyed his reflection. He didn't look bad. Though he preferred to wear black, the red and white was okay on him. White stockings _were _his favorite and the fact that Tseng had picked out a full corset was nice. The man had taste, he'd give him that.

When he'd first opened the bag in Tseng's office he'd wanted to cry. All that red was going to make him look like a bad (Drag)Queen of Hearts. In actuality though, it worked out better than he'd imagined.

The skirt was the same red as his hair, with a white, front lacing corset- the laces were also red. The long sleeves were tight and soft, and the red gloves tied off into them nicely. He could have done without the bows though. There were a few at the bottom of the skirt and one at the center of his chest, keeping the cape tied. The shoes though, he loved those; cute, open toed, white, classic women's riding boots. Tseng got serious points for those.

He'd gone all out and put in some extensions to the side parts of his hair, leaving the fly away bangs, then tied it into a simple ponytail that hung over his right shoulder. Simple was sexy more often than not. With the hood up you couldn't even tell that he didn't have long hair everywhere but it was probably going to be taken off at some point. He'd forgone make up except a few lines of some white eyeliner at Cloud's insistence, and a layer of scarlet lipstick. The goggles, however, were still in place- just to piss Tseng off- everyone knew it was him anyway. Hard to mistake the marks on his cheeks and the EMR.

"We look hot," he stated. Cloud looked sweet- and pretty sexy- and he looked...well, he looked something. With his EMR slapped over his shoulder like usual, he looked kind of like a Little Red out to beat the shit out of a big bad wolf and cook him for dinner. The boss man was probably trying to make Reno look innocent, for once in his life, but that wasn't happening; he did have a reputation to uphold after all. Still, despite the dresses and frills and make up, they someone how managed to scream 'MAN'. Reno wasn't sure how those professionals did it, maybe it was the fake boobs, or the girlish voice he refused to go for.

"So, why are we in these anyway?" Cloud asked, still looking up at Reno.

"Dinner party, we're dates."

The blonde spluttered. "What? But-but today is the President's birthday dinner. Everyone is going to be there!" The last part came out more of squeak as Cloud's face turned beet red.

"Hey, hey calm down. Blue is your color, not red, yo." He picked up a tube of lipstick and rolled it onto Cloud's lips- just a natural color with a shine to give him them that 'just licked' look- just as his PHS beeped. "Okay let's go, that bastard is waitin'."

He ushered a still spluttering Cloud out the door and into the parked car at the side of the building. Reno refused to live on the Shin-Ra complex and had his own apartment a few blocks away. For a new guy, Cloud did great walking in those heels of his- a natural, no lessons needed.

The door opened and Tseng stepped out. When he saw Cloud his eyebrows raised and a slow grin spread across his face. "Well, now. This just keeps getting better and better." He took Cloud's hand a kissed it briefly. "Good evening, Cadet. So lovely to see you again."

"You! You did this?" Cloud was glaring at the other man and Reno was officially confused.

"You know him, yo?" They both nodded and Tseng turned to the red-head.

"This is the General Sephiroth and Commander Rhapsodos'..._playmate_."

Reno's eyes widened and snapped to Cloud. Them? Oh shit, so that's how he knew Reno was a Turk! He and Genesis weren't exactly on good terms after that last prank had ended with a naked Commander on a projection screen for the new group of cadets. "What? Fuck, they're gonna kill me if they ever finds out."

A chuckle from Tseng made him groan. "When he finds out, you mean. He and the Commander are attending the party tonight," he said with a smug grin. "Now, in or we'll be late."

Cloud was still blushing when they arrived at the HQ. The party was being held on the main floor in one of ballrooms. He took Tseng's left arm after a few minutes of hesitation and Reno took the right. "You..._ladies _look lovely."

Reno glared at him. Boss man was clearly enjoying this way too much; if the amount of talking and facial expressions he was using were anything to go by. He was certainly going to have a fun time cleaning some hot pink paint off his beloved guns when this was over. The red-head could already see it- pink with ribbons and some glitter just for the hell of it.

Plans in mind, the red-head draped himself across Tseng's side and plastered a coy smile on his face. Time to ham it up.

"You shouldn't worry Cloud, I'm sure the both of them will be just as pleased as they will be surprised." That seemed to shake the little blonde out of his daze and his eyes snapped to Tseng.

"What?"

The Turk just smiled at him as the doors were pushed open.

The room was full of milling people; none as colorful as they though and Reno felt a faint dusting on his cheeks. His usual confidence was ebbing a little at the thought of everyone he knew being able to see him. He tugged the hood around his face a little bit more. To hell with having all of his vision if it meant this was a little less embarrassing.

Cloud, however, was once again beet red, his head tipped down as he seemed to sink into Tseng like he was trying to disappear. He probably was, poor kid. Reno even felt a little sorry for dragging him into this. Kinda.

Slowly, they made their way to the front of the room, heads turning to them the whole time, and Cloud had to suppress the urge to make sure his ass wasn't hanging out. The dress wasn't that short but it sure felt like it. They were almost to the President's table when a voice made him freeze; in turn causing the other two to stop.

"Cloud?" He turned to the man calling his name and flushed all over again.

Genesis was staring at him, eyes wide, mouth hanging open. The glass in his hand slid out and crashed to the floor, spilling it's contents and cracking. The General was next to him and in much the same state. He had managed to keep his mouth closed at least.

"Ah, Commander, General. I believe this is yours." Tseng said as he steered Cloud to them and passed him off.

"Uh, I...we, I mean-..._Cloud_?"

Reno was dying on the inside. If he had hated Tseng at any time that day, he was now completely forgiven.

It wasn't everyday you got to see Sephiroth look confused, much less stutter and mangle a sentence like that. He tried to stifle his laughter as both of the men took one of Cloud's hands and leaned over to whisper something in his ear. The blonde's eyes widened and he let out a particularly cute noise of surprise when the Commander picked him up and made a beeline for the door; the General right behind him.

No one said anything, not that he thought they would. No one ever said anything about Sephiroth- he was their poster boy after all.

He was led the rest of the way through the room after that.

Rude had burst out laughing when he realized who was on Tseng's arm; he must seriously have been shocked to actually laugh like that with other people around. Cissnei and Elena had demanded poses and pictures and pictures of poses with them. He'd tried not to bring the EMR around and beat them in the head when they pinched his cheeks tugged at his skirt.

President Shinra had laughed and laughed when Tseng had slapped his hand away from Reno's thigh, too drunk to care that Reno was actually a man and actually one of the Turks assigned to protect him on many occasions. He'd just slurred a few things about a tight ass and small breasts.

Reno was fairly growling by the time the other Turk led him away from the fat old bastard and slid a champagne glass into this hand. He downed it in one go and grimaced- that shit was nasty.

"Reno?" Tseng was looking down at him when he turned his attention back to his _escort_.

"Yo."

"That video is going to make quite a bit of gil when the fan clubs find out about it..." The man waved his PHS at the red-head. "Your ingenuity has definitely earned you some...rewards."

Reno's mood immediately picked up. Tseng was rather...imaginative when it came to passing out rewards- or punishments.

The red-head smirked at him, making sure to bat his eyelashes. "Oh yeah? Better than the last time?"

Tseng thought back to the last video he'd seen of the General. The man could certainly move; it had definitely not been what he was expecting- flat out erotic as opposed to humorous- but...the look on the silver General's face and the obvious lack of blood flowing to his brain were even more satisfactory.

"Definitely better."

**UGH. Finally. Why are you so hard to write you sexy bastard? D: Still not sure how much I like this one but I really need more practice writing the Turks. **


	7. Angeal: Marked

**A/N: Two secrets today. I have NO IDEA what to do for Kunsel. Any ideas? PM me if you have some, if not I'm sure I'll come up with some kind of crack for him eventually. **

**Rating: T- Language and Angeal's naked butt. **

**Warnings: Zack's kinda OOC, they all are, but I have a hard time writing Zack. **

**Marked**

Zack wanted to shower with him and he was terrified.

Just last week Angeal had finally given in to his attraction to the younger man and, after much urging, had said yes to being more than mentor and student. His honor was still piecing itself back together and now _this. _

Angeal had tried to convince himself that it was because Zack was still so young, so innocent- innocent his ass-, and that it was _wrong_ to take advantage of that. Unfortunately, it was hard to convince himself he was taking advantage when the teen was practically throwing himself at his mentor whenever he was given the chance.

It was...that _thing_. _The Genesis thing._

"Ange," Zack called in a sing-song voice.

He stood there for a split second and then Angeal Hewley ran. He vaulted over Zack's hideous purple couch and ran for it.

His PHS started ringing as he sprinted down the halls but he ignored it. If he had to listen to the pup's disappointed tone he'd crumble and he couldn't do that...yet.

Professor Hollander gave his specimen a very strange look. "What?" Usually Angeal was the calmer of the two young men. He was honorable to a fault and took everything with a grain of salt- even mako injections and the occasional random experiment. But this...this was different to say the least.

He watched Angeal wring his hands together. "Isn't there anyway to take it off?"

The scientist sighed and motioned for the commander to turn over. He did so and Hollander prodded and Angeal's left butt cheek with a tongue compressor. "If it hasn't faded by now I doubt it will," he stated calmly.

The First groaned and stood up, pulling his pants back into place. "Nothing at all?" He asked in a hopeful tone.

"Short of manually cutting off the offending patch of skin and muscle, No, I do not believe so."

Angeal shuddered and shook his head violently. Mako or not, being sliced apart still hurt like a bitch and he wasn't letting anyone near him with a scalpel unless it was absolutely necessary.

Hollander chuckled and patted his shoulder. "Well then, if that's all, I will see you in two weeks."

With a defeated sigh, Angeal thanked the professor and left.

He made his way back to Zack's apartment slowly- no, he was definitely _not_ stalling by stopping to chat with as many people as he possibly could. His PHS had fourteen missed calls and just as many messages; all from Zack. He felt bad leaving his puppy like that but at the same time...he just couldn't get over that _thing_.

Angeal growled in frustration, likely scaring a group of passing cadets. Commander Hewley was rarely in a bad mood and always willing to help out, permafrown or not. He should have killed Genesis when he'd had the chance. The red-head got away with far too much. Granted, he'd toned down quite a bit since meeting Sephiroth and then their younger lover Cloud. But still- the man had been a very wild teen and it showed.

Literally.

On Angeal's left ass cheek.

'_Genesis Was Here'_

In big black letters right in the center.

With a fucking kiss print just to top things off.

That night was the one night in his entire life he couldn't remember any of. He woke up with a sore ass (in more ways than one), clothes everywhere, a naked red-head on his chest, and a headache to rival all headaches. Upon waking he'd promptly thrown up all over the floor and limped to the bathroom to wash off the smell of alcohol, sex, and apples; leaving the vomit to his disgusted friend.

And now he had to tell Zack that. Zack that looked up to him. Zack that he'd given more speeches to about honor and dreams than he could count. Zack that was going to laugh his skinny little ass off and hold it over him for the rest of their lives.

The door to his young loves apartment appeared much too quickly. Even so, he took a deep breath, squared his shoulders and walked in.

The dark haired teen was sitting on his couch, wrapped up in a nest of blankets. His head turned to the door and Angeal wanted to smack himself. Zack looked like he'd been crying, there were no tears but his eyes were red and he was holding his pillow against his chest- something he only ever did when he was really upset.

"Ange?"

The First walked around the couch and kneeled in front of it. "I'm so sorry, pup. I didn't mean to upset you."

Zack's brow furrowed as he frowned at the man. "You left. You didn't say anything or tell me where you were going or why. You just left."

Angeal winced. "I needed to see someone about...something."

"Something? What _something_?"

The older man ran a hand through his hair. So Zack would laugh at him? All the other guys had laughed at him when he'd refused to shower without boxers on, this was no different. Except...it _was_. He had his ex-lover's lips _tattooed_ on his _ass_ next to a proclamation that he'd definitely _taken_ said ass. Angeal sighed, once again wishing he'd just murdered Genesis in his sleep years ago.

"I went to see Hollander about...about a tattoo," he said slowly.

Zack blinked at him. "You have a tattoo?" Immediately his frown faded and was replaced by a mischievous grin. "Where? I want to see it!"

"No." Angeal said before Zack could grab him. "No."

"Why?"

"It's embarrassing."

Zack huffed, much like Genesis normally did, and glared at him. "You left me by myself, naked, in the shower and you won't tell me?"

He grit his teeth together. That wasn't going to work on him. "No. I'm going to find a way to get it taken off."

The teen dropped his head and this time, when he raised his head, it was with impossibly large, watering blue eyes and a pout that could make even the General pause.

_Someone shoot me, _Angeal thought rather bitterly. "Fine," he growled. When he started giving in so easily he wasn't quite sure, but no one- _no one_- could do kicked puppy eyes like this kid. "It's on my..." He waved a hand around his back, lower region.

"You have a tattoo on your ass?"

"Zack!"

Zack's lips twitched and he asked again, "Really? On your ass?"

"Yes, pup, I have a tattoo on my ass," he bit out.

"Drop your pants." Zack deadpanned.

"What!"

"I want to see, Ange. Please?"

For once in his life he actually understood his best friend; recalling all the times the red-head had cursed the planet for hating him. It was with a heavy sigh that the Commander stood up and unbuckled his pants. Zack wasted no time though, and yanked harshly at them. They were quickly ripped down to his ankles, boxers and all.

"Pup!" he yelped as he was spun around.

Silence fell. He was holding his breath and he knew it. He was about to say something when a bark of laughter came from behind him and his whole body turned a bright red. Angeal yanked his pants back up and turned around to see Zack leaning on the couch, gasping for breath. Huge tears were trailing down his cheeks and his laughter was starting to sound more like sobs than anything.

Angeal waited- very patiently in his opinion- until Zack's laughter turned into hic-ups and he was holding his cheeks to keep from smiling.

"Are you done?"

The teen dropped his hands and when looked up, Angeal was almost positive it was a different person. His face was straight and calm, looking more like he'd been in a boring business meeting than laughing for the past ten minutes.

"Can I tattoo _my_ lips on your ass after we have sex?"

Angeal's mouth fell open. "Zackary!"

The other man was already up and running for the door, PHS in hand. "Seph is gonna want to see this!" He crowed as he disappeared out the doorway.

Seph?

_Sweet mother of Shiva he didn't...did he? Of course he did! This is Zack!_

As Angeal took off down the hallway, dodging as many people as he could and barreling into others, his only thoughts were of getting to that PHS before Sephiroth got to look at it and strangling Genesis the next time he saw the red-headed idiot.

**I had too much sugar today?**


	8. Genesis: Rainy Days

A lot of people hated the rain. It was wet, made things difficult, and came at the worst times- like when one was on a mission in the middle of the jungle or right as you decided to take a walk for some ice cream. Yes, the rain could be very inconvenient.

One SOLDIER didn't agree with this thought at all.

The Red Commander loved the rain. Even in Midgar it was cool and refreshing. Every time the water fell from the sky he wanted to jump up and go running out into it. He didn't, however. One of the most feared men in the world couldn't just go outside, strip to his pants and dance in the rain like a barbarian- no matter how much he wanted to. Instead, he took a somewhat different route to enjoy the rain.

Whenever the storm clouds would roll in the Commander managed to find some reason to be outside. Whether he purposefully blew a tire on his car or not- like today.

Genesis had been returning from a nearby town where he'd taken an easy mission to dispatch some monsters. Doing trivial things like that was evidently good for his reputation.

He rolled his eyes at that, his reputation was perfect. People steered clear unless they were a little suicidal and he was very happy with that.

The red-head smiled up at the sky. It was gray and stormy and pouring and just…perfect.

He peeled off his duster and tossed it back into the car. This was one of the rare times where he'd found an alcove to stage his 'accident' and there was no one in sight. It helped that this road was under construction and the workers all ran for home whenever the sky opened up. Some people believed the rumors about mako-laced rain. Genesis knew they were lies but it didn't matter to him. As long as he could be alone, the rain really could be mako-laced and it wouldn't bother him a bit.

With a grin Genesis cranked up the radio and yanked his boots off. His belt and shirt followed into a pile with the red duster.

He stepped out and was immediately happy that his pants weren't full length. He wanted the mud on his legs and feet; not expensive leather. He double checked to make sure that there was no one around, just in case. He knew he'd be able to hear a car from miles away but it was still good to be cautious- one never knew what those crazy fan club members were up to.

Throwing his arm out, he willed the black wing to extend with a heavy sigh. Stretching it always felt so good. The tension that built up keeping it hidden disappeared immediately and he was left feeling lighter than he imagined possible.

Genesis flapped it a few times, watching as a few black feathers fell to the ground. It still worried him that they did that. Hollander had reassured him, on multiple occasions, that it would always do that. The degradation wasn't coming back but he couldn't help but be suspicious.

Either way, that wasn't important at the moment.

"I came here to make you dance tonight…"

He smiled and began to spin slowly; one of his favorite songs.

Sephiroth hugged the blond is his lap tighter, his large black wing shielding the two of them from the rain. It had taken Cloud some time but he'd gotten used to being flown around and even enjoyed it. Now, it was a regular occurrence.

"He looks happy," Cloud was smiling down at the red-head. The two of them were perched above their lover on a beam that extended from a soon-to-be over pass. He hummed in agreement. Genesis was grining widely as he danced around, getting mud all over his legs, and getting soaked.

"You know, he never used to take that coat off," he said, threading his finger's through some of the blond hair. "Until a cure for the degradation was found, I had never seen him without it on."

"Really? He always seemed so confident."

The General shrugged. "Perhaps, but that was not the case. That day you found us in the office was the first time we touched outside of combat."

Cloud snorted. Finding Sephiroth sitting on his desk, Genesis between his legs and pulling the other man down into a string of very heated kisses had been embarrassing. Never the less, he'd thanked Gaia too many times to count that Sergeant Moore was a sadistic bastard that liked to make him carry paperwork to random people. He was glad that his mind had been aware enough to actually think to take a picture- the fact that they could have killed him for it hadn't mattered to him at the time- and even more glad that Zack had insisted on buying him a phone. It now sat, framed, by their bed along with many, many more.

He was glad Genesis was happy. He still wasn't sure why he kept up the pretense of disliking the rain though. So what if he was a SOLDIER, a commander at that, and he liked to play in the rain?

"Let's go down there," he said suddently, tugging on Sephiroth's hair.

"I'm not sure that's a good idea."

"Please? I really want to share this with him…"

Sephiroth sighed, why he even tried to deny their little blond lover anything he wasn't sure.

He hooked his arms around Cloud a little tighter and stood, pushing off to float down. The music was louder now and after setting Cloud down he moved over, slid a hand in the window, and turned it down.

Genesis whirled around, already drawing his sword. He paused when he saw the tell-tale silver hair of the General.

"Seph?" He blinked at the other man. The only person in the world who could sneak up on him chose today to do it?

"Hello, Genesis." The General was smiling at the red-head's obvious confusion.

Genesis must not have noticed Cloud because he jumped when the boy put a hand on his shoulder. "Gen, can I dance with you?"

"Son of bitch!" He squeaked, turning around to glare at Cloud.

Any questions as to what they hell they were doing out here died when he turned to the younger of the three. He looked sad, yet happy. His eyes were a little watery but he was smiling and holding a hand out. Genesis wasn't sure what had given him a reason to look like that but he did know he would do anything to make Cloud happy. He wasn't below interrogating Seph about it later though.

He grabbed the hand and tugged him over. "Take your shoes off and roll up your pants."

Cloud did as he was told, tossing them into a pile next to the car. He stripped out of the jacket and shirt he was wearing, dumping them in the car.

While the two stood in the mud, half naked, Sephiroth was busy flipping through the old CD case Genesis tended to carry around. Finding the right one he grinned as he slid the disc in. He turned up the volume then quickly shed his coat, shirt and boots.

"Baby, you're all that I want, when I'm lying here in your arms…we're in heaven…"

Soaked and muddy, but smiling wider than any of them could ever remember they spent the day out in the rain.

"We should do that sometime 'Geal." Zack was grinning when he pulled the camera away from his face. He knew Cloud had only given him the thing for Christmas so that he could take pictures of them. The First didn't mind though. There were some moments that just needed to be captured; the three of them smiling and muddy was one of those things.

Angeal shook his head at the pup. "Maybe." To be honest, Angeal hated the rain. Unlike Genesis he wasn't playing up the act every time he stomped into the house after an impromptu shower. He was happy that Zack had at least kept quiet about the umbrella he'd brought. As they were leaving he'd almost considered leaving it, but when the dark-haired man hadn't said a word, Angeal took that as his que to keep it.

He turned his attention back to his friends down below. He could count the number of times the two of them had smiled before Cloud on one hand. "Take some more, Pup." He wanted to have proof of those smiles.

The packet that Genesis would find lying on his desk the next morning would be a photo album of the things Zack had managed to catch so far. Lyrics were scribbled across the corners of one particular rainy day; three familiar faces smiling widely, arms wrapped around each other, covered in mud from a previous tumble to the ground.

…we were young and wild and free…

Love is all that I need and I found it there in your arms…

Maybe just this once Genesis would let Zack's stalking tendancies slide.


	9. Tseng: V is for Voyeur

**A/N: Seriously, how many of you guys actually read my notes? Hmmm?**

**Rating: T**

**Warnings: Implied sex, voyeurism, drinking**

**V is for Voyeur **

...

...

After the dancing incident Tseng decided to take matters into his own hands. Or more accurately, his computer's capable cyber hands.

It took some work and a lot of luck, but he finally managed to set up his own personal television channel.

All SOLDIER, all the time.

He chuckled quietly to himself. He could sell tickets and make a fortune. Half the base and most of Midgar would be clamoring at his doorstep. If that wasn't a _complete_ invasion of privacy- his privacy- then he might have actually considered such an endeavor. As it were...

Tseng had been courteous. He had refrained from placing cameras in bathrooms or the bedrooms. That would have been all well and good- for them- if he didn't happen to know that a certain redhead liked to do it on the couch. Or the counter. Or the table. Or the floor.

Most places except the bed.

When he'd gotten that disc of the General and his blond, he'd expected something humorous. Something he could placate the fan clubs with. No such luck.

Sephiroth. Was. Sexy. Tseng had no idea the man could move like that. His prowess on the battle field was a fact; common knowledge. He was deadly, graceful, beautiful even when blood splatters and covered in mud.

On the dance floor he was sex incarnate and that was why Tseng was sharing this channel with no one. Well...perhaps Rufus. He could keep a secret.

That thought in mind, Tseng sat down on his couch, setting the laptop gently down in his lap. A few clicks later, Sephiroth's front room came into view and he stifled a laugh.

Evidently Genesis had conned his friends into playing a game. Charades in fact.

Angeal Hewley was strutting around, arms bent in and flapping while he warked. Evidently the answer wasn't 'chocobo' because the other four occupants were wearing confused expressions. He let out an exasperated 'kweh' and dropped his arms.

The First rolled his eyes and quickly changed positions. He held his arms up over his head and pointed. Next he bent over and cupped his right arm over his head in a curved shape and wiggled the fingers on his left hand right under his chin.

Tseng arched an eyebrow. He couldn't even fathom what that was. If he needed further proof that all SOLDIERs were crazy he definitely had it though.

"Oh!" Zack's loud cry startled him a bit and he shifted, focusing on the screen once again. "You're a cloud!"

A look of relief washed over Angeal's features and he hugged the younger man.

"A...cloud?" Tseng asked himself...what did a chocobo and a...whatever that was, have anything to do with a _cloud._

Definitely insane.

"...why would you pretend to be a chocobo then?" The youngest of their group bristled and scowled at the man. Angeal let out a soft chuckle and ruffled his golden spikes.

Next up was Genesis.

The Turk laughed openly- something he only did in the privacy of his home. Surprisingly, he and the red General were friends. A mission gone wrong out near the Icicle Inn had brought them together in...interesting ways and they'd kept the friendship up. He would never bathe with the man again though. Never. Again.

Well maybe. If he asked this time.

He watched as the redhead stood and moved in front of the television. Genesis stood for a second then raised four fingers. He then proceeded to hold his arms in a box shape.

"Four...square?" Angeal asked with a frown. Genesis shot him a glare and shook his head. Next he pointed to one eye.

"Glasses?"

Again, Genesis glared, this time at Cloud. He took his free hand and drew a huge 'C' shape with it.

"..."

Sephiroth was staring at him, his usual impassive expression firmly in place. Tseng could almost see the cogs working inside his head.

"A refrigerator."

"Sweet Shiva, finally, Sephiroth." Genesis fell back onto the floor with a muffled grunt.

"How is that equal to a fridge?" Cloud was turned, nose scrunched up, and looking at an equally confused Zack.

"Fridges are square. Eye and 'C' are ice. Ice with a square is a box. Ice box. Fridges are often called iceboxes. Therefore, refrigerator."

"Exactly," said Genesis, beaming up at Sephiroth.

"..."

"I will never understand you two," Angeal muttered, shaking his head.

Tseng was having a hard time stifling his laughter now. That had been clever. Even he could admit that and how Sephiroth figured that out he would probably never know. Genesis was notoriously confusing and even more strange. There was definitely some kind of deep connection there for that to have made it through.

A knock came at his door then and he scowled. He set the computer down on the coffee table and shut it quietly.

"Yo, bossman." Came through the door. "You in there?"

Tseng almost groaned. What was _Reno_ doing here?

He pulled open the door and took a page out of Genesis' book by glaring at the redhead. Reno was twirling the ever present EMR and popping some gum. It smelled like cinnamon. He was finally quitting smoking; he seemed serious about it this time. Tseng made a mental note to find out why in the morning. "Can I help you?"

"Yeah, we're all goin' drinkin' in an hour, Zack and some SOLDIERs and a couple of us Turks, you in?"

Was he? "Who all is going?"

"Uh, Rude, Cissnei, Elena, the Generals and their little blond, think that Second Kunsel is gonna be there. It's over at Seph's place."

He considered that for a moment, briefly wondering how in Gaia's name the silver General and Reno were such good friends. Maybe that explained the smoking...he knew Sephiroth hated cigarettes with a passion. "I will be there."

...

Fifteen minutes to midnight, Tseng was happy- for possibly the first time in his life- that Zackary Fair was a borderline alcoholic.

A giggling Genesis was sitting in his lap, and the two of them were watching Sephiroth try to dance with a very wobbly Cloud. The dance partners were doing more stumbling and falling than actual dancing, but his inebriated mind didn't really mind all that much.

The girls had all gone home earlier, Reno and Rude offering to walk them- which seemed to be more of Rude carrying them and trying not to fall himself.

Genesis suddenly leapt off his lap with a squeal. "I got it!" He shouted.

The whole room blinked at him, Cloud giggling behind Seph's back. The boy was the happiest drunk Tseng had ever seen- even surpassing Zackary. Speaking of Zack, where was he anyway? And Angeal for that matter...

"You two," Genesis flung out a hand toward where he must have through Tseng and Kunsel were, "You, hava good nigh'. Don' mess up my...fur-niture." With that, he grabbed Cloud and Sephiroth and pulled them down the hall. The door slammed with a resounding snap and a giggle.

"No need to wonder what they're doing," Kunsel said, sitting down on the couch next to Tseng.

The Turk rubbed his face once, trying to clear a little of the fuzziness away. "You don't sound very drunk."

Kunsel grinned, the expression seeming a little more scary than it probably should with the helm firmly in place. "Water."

They sat in silence for a moment. Tseng put down his drink in favor of the Second's glass of water.

A low moan came from the back of the apartment and he heard Kunsel chuckle. "I say we get pictures of that. They're so drunk they won't even remember. What do you say?"

Tseng pretended to consider it for a moment. "I say, you're quite the brilliant man."

"Why thank you, I do pride myself on such things," was the teasing reply. He pulled out a camera from some mysterious SOLDIER pocket and stood up. "Let's go."

...

The next morning, Tseng woke in his own bed, a warm lump beside him.

Those pictures would make wonderful blackmail. However...the night hadn't exactly turned out as he'd planned. Somehow, in his semi-drunken state, he'd neglected to remember that all five of the men that were currently engaged in each others very naked company, were very, very sexy. Evidently he wasn't the only one that had thought so.

"Good morning," the lump beside him mumbled, snuggling into his chest.

"Good morning," he said with a smile.

Ruined plans or not, he did get quite the consolation prize. Underneath that helmet, SOLDIER Second Class Kunsel, was incredibly- enough to rival the Generals- gorgeous.

Tseng had the pictures to prove it.

...

...

**Kunsel needs more love! Seriously, he's amazing guys. Why is there not more love for him? **


	10. Vincent: Proportionate

**A/N: Rianna-Saraephina! This one is for you. I hope you like it and thank you for reminding me I should write for Vincent and Reeve! I can't believe I didn't think of them. **

**Rating: What rating...**

**Warnings: Vin says tits. That is all. **

...

...

**Proportionate **

Vincent Valentine glowered at the shiny tips of his shoes.

_:If you Dislike them so, my host, you could just wear normal shoes...like everyone else on the bloody ship: _

'Shut up,' he mentally grumbled. Chaos' laugh reverberated through him as he got up and stomped down the halls, back to his room. Everyone knew to steer clear when the ex-Turk was actually making noise. His usually silent foot falls could be horribly loud when he wanted them to be and it sent even Cid running; something the dark haired man found quite amusing once he'd calmed down enough.

Chaos continued to chuckle even after he slammed the door shut and collapsed on his tiny bed. As a man of many secrets, most of them were well hidden, known only to the residents of his mind and himself. Strife had managed to learn a few in their years together, however, this one, daily annoyance the blond had missed.

Vincent hated having such tiny feet.

They were bad for balance and...and so..._delicate_. He would be the first to admit, he had very nice feet. They were smooth and soft with few calluses. Actually, he reminded himself, he would be the _only _one to admit considering Hojo was probably the last person to see his feet and the insane scientist was dead now. Hopefully the man wasn't as much like a cockroach as his little experiments were, lest they have to kill him again.

_:He is dead, my host. Enough ranting.:_

Ah yes, the point. Literally.

The gold pieces that extended way past his toes actually balanced his height and weight much better than any regular shoes possibly could. Not to mention they hid just one more feminine feature.

If he tried running around in boots that actually fit his feet he'd most likely fall all over himself- and that just wasn't happening. Ever.

He tossed a curious look at the man sleeping in the bunk on the other side of the room. Vincent had completely forgotten his presence when he'd come storming in. It was a miracle he hadn't woken and he momentarily felt a little guilty. He really should work on being more quiet with the other man around.

A strange thought stuck him and he crept over to the other's bed. Slowly, he slid the covers back, all the way down to his toes, and peered at the feet there. The being in his mind snorted and let out a decidedly feminine giggle.

_:It seems he really does take after you.: _

Vincent rolled his eyes, even as the corners of his lips tugged upwards. He hid his face behind his collar and studied the feet.

They really were exactly the same as his- slender and tiny.

"...can I help you?" The smooth baritone broke the silence and Vincent let out a startled yelp, lurching backward and tripping- unfortunately he couldn't blame it on lack of balance. He looked up into amused green eyes and fought the urge to scowl. "Is there something fascinating about my...feet?" A silver eyebrow arched up causing Chaos to break out into another round of giggles.

_:You two must be the only humans with that much eyebrow control,: _the demon managed around his laughter.

"..." When the marksman didn't reply Sephiroth shrugged and tugged the covers back up, snuggling back down into the bed. "Please warn me before you decide to stare at my toes. I might kick you in the head next time."

_:Are we sure he is your son? He's much too fun, don't you think?:_

"Quiet," Vincent grumbled under his breath.

"I am not the one who screeched like a little girl."

His mouth fell open, and once again he was thankful for the collar. "I did not mean you," he snapped, getting up and dusting himself off. He stalked over to his bunk and fell down with a huff.

Stupid feet.

They were always getting him in trouble.

The next morning, Vincent woke to the most raucous laughter he'd ever heard from his resident demon ringing in his head. "What in Hel's name are you going on about?" He snapped, jolting upright and holding rubbing his temples.

"Ah, you are awake. Good morning."

He blinked, bleary red eyes slowly focusing on a length of silver hair at the end of his bed. "Sephiroth?"

"Vincent?"

"What are you doing?" Chaos was still laughing, and if the demon had a body, he was sure it would be rolling on the floor, choking on it's own laughter.

_:What a lovely way to die, my host.:_

Sephiroth motioned to his feet and he finally noticed they were bare. He yelped, something he found himself doing far too much in the last couple days- first with the strawberries, and then with this foot thing-, and grabbed a blanket, throwing it over his legs. _~Shiva's tits, how had did he get my shoes off!~ _His silver haired son raised a hand to cover his laughter, not that it was helping much. His shoulders were shaking and his eyes were starting to water.

"What are you doing?" he demanded again.

The former General held up a ruler and waved it at him. "I believe I was measuring your feet. Size five? How do you even manage to walk? I am aware my feet are small but this...this is something else."

The other occupants of the airship would soon find themselves pulling a snarling Vincent off of a hysterical Sephiroth.

Perhaps, the silver haired warrior thought to himself, it would be best to remind Vincent of their family resemblance at every possible turn.

He was pretty sure he'd actually heard Chaos laughing at some point.

...

...

**For the record. I'm short and have stupidly big feet. I have no idea if your foot size really effects your balance but it sounds good to me. **


	11. Genesis: Flavorful

_**A/N: This one everyone can thank Number XVI for. This was her fantastic idea sent to me a few days ago and here it is. Finally. She originally said 'morning after', however, I guess I moved it to, 'as soon as they fall asleep'. **_

_**Rating: T**_

_**Warnings: Implied sex, language**_

_**Summary: Everyone has some kind of routine. Genesis just happens to have a specific one after being thoroughly satisfied by his loves.**_

_..._

_..._

_**Flavorful**_

Steady breathing filled the room and Genesis wanted to cry with relief_. _

_Finally. _

_Finally_, all of them were asleep.

Slowly, he shifted his leg out from under Cloud's weight and untangled his finger's from Sephiroth's mass of silver hair. Really, he loved them, but sometimes sleeping in the same bed with four men was just a pain in the ass.

Literally as well as figuratively.

Once out of the bed, he fished around for something to wear. His fingers snagged a soft pair of pajama pants and he slid them on. They were a little big and hung down on his hips; most likely Angeal's or Zack's since the other two were quite slender. He tugged the strings a little tighter and made his way out of the room silently.

His path was well worn and if there were any creaks, Genesis would probably have been able to point every one out.

The redhead padded silently into the kitchen and hopped up onto the counter near the stove. Sometimes he really, truly was happy that both Sephiroth and Angeal were neurotic about cleaning things.

It made his mission so much easier.

Their liquor cabinet was just above the stove light, which he could normally reach, but he wasn't after the liquor. He was after a bag in the back of the cabinet. He moved the glass bottles aside and thanked the Goddess that Zack drank so damn much. The closet was off limits now after that Twinkie disaster and finding a new place for his stash had been a pain. Until he'd opened the cabinet and seen just how much alcohol they actually had.

He grasped a bag and grinned, pulling it out and setting it on the counter, he placed all the bottles in their original places and hopped off.

With a barely restrained giggle, Genesis pulled the little white bag open and popped a handful of the contents in his mouth.

The contents were gone in minutes and with a carefully directed Fire1, all evidence of his previous activities were melted away. With a yawn he made his way back to their very large, shared bed and snuggled up, his hands once again finding their way into Sephiroth's hair and a leg thrown over Cloud's waist.

...

His routine continued for some time. He hadn't been sure how well the secret would keep when he'd moved in with Seph and Cloud, but it was holding up surprisingly.

It helped that Zack was the only one to ever get in the cabinet and their puppy wasn't the most observant when going to get sloshed.

It was a normal night, exhausted and thoroughly satisfied in every way but one, Genesis snuck out of bed and found himself kneeling on the counter, shifting bottles when he heard a noise.

A noise that sounded like a snicker.

There was a flash of a camera and Genesis yelped, hand clenched around a little white bag, he went toppling backwards an onto the hard, tile floor.

He looked up to see Zack grinning at him from the other side of the island. "What the fuck are you doing?"

Zack's grin just widened as a soft groan was heard from the hallway and the other three came into view.

"Getting a night cap, Gen?" Zack's tone was far too smug and he felt his stomach drop. He _knew _and he had _planned _this!

"You!" He shouted, jumping up and waving the hand with the little bag in it wildly. "You did this on purpose."

A warm hand grabbed his wrist and tugged him forward, into a collection of strong arms and warm chests.

"Genesis. What do you have in your hand?" Sephiroth was giving him an all too amused look and he had to fight the urge to gulp.

Lover or not, the Silver General was still intimidating as hell- even if he was dressed only in purple boxers that happened to be decorated with bouncing moogles.

"Nothing," he said as his hand tightened.

He felt a gentle hand being placed on his cheek and his head ended up tilting down so he was looking to sky blue eyes. "Gen," Cloud murmured on a sleepy sigh. "I want a kiss."

Somewhere in the back of his mind, as his lips met their youngest lovers soft, pliant ones, he knew he was being played. And it was _working_. The little minx that was currently opening up to him certainly didn't waste any time in snatching the bag on the first chance that his grip relaxed. With a triumphant grin, Cloud backed up, holding up the bag and taking a look at it.

He blinked. "Jelly...beans? Root-Beer _jelly beans_?"

Genesis felt his cheeks heat up but snapped his mouth closed, refusing to comment when Angeal shot him a teasing glare. "And you got on my case about Twinkies?"

"That's different! Those will preserve you longer than a mako tank could ever hope to!" The camera flashed again and he growled in frustration. He was going to kill Zack one of these days. Especially if the puppy didn't start taking a few more flattering shots once in a while.

He really wasn't bothered by them knowing about his love for the jelly beans. Honestly, he would be fine with standing on the mess hall tables and shouting about his love for sweets.

No, the problem was, actually, them.

What he _was _bothered by, was the curious look on Cloud's face as he tore the bag open and popped one of the little brown beans in his mouth.

Mentally, he was crying.

There it went. The one vice he could get away with not sharing. Gone. More accurately, eaten.

"Wow," the blond said, digging in to hand them around to everyone but Genesis.

"Hey!" He cried as he watched the bag slowly empty. "You know why I didn't tell you idiots?"

Four pairs of eyes turned to him and he scowled at them. "Because you fat asses will eat them all!"

_..._

The next morning Genesis found his schedule cleared and a number of hands dragging him out of HQ. To his surprise, they ended up in a brightly colored candy shop that he was all too familiar with. The owner of said establishment gave him a cheerful wave that was met with only a put-upon sigh.

His four lovers took off and when Genesis finally caught up with them they were standing in the Jelly bean isle.

In danger of drooling on the white floor as they sampled all the different flavors, on their way to finding one of their own.

Three hours later, loaded down with bags of candy and laughing like a passel of idiots, they shuffled into the elevator.

Upon seeing the poor, unfortunate, well known health nut, Turk Commander trying to make himself invisible in the back corner, bags were opened and Tseng was force fed more sugar than he'd probably had in his entire career.

With a smug smile, Genesis was pleased to note that Tseng's unhappiness looked only surface deep.

Later, with a less than smug look, he found himself kicking down the door to Tseng's apartment, demanding his bag of Root Beer Jelly Beans back.


	12. Kunsel: Just Say It

**A/N: I...was reading some of my favorite pieces today and guess what? I am horribly sad that there isn't more Kunsel love out there! Seriously, I love him and I know I've said that a lot.**

**Summary: Kunsel's in love and, somehow, a meddling blond and his two lovers find out. Evidently forcing him into a less that savory situation is what they call helping.**

...

...

**Just Say It!**

_I love you._

His thumb hesitated over the send key and with a sigh, he deleted the message, snapping the well worn PHS closed and stuffing it back into his pocket.

He was never going to get up the guts to say it...

Kunsel grabbed his helmet and slipped it on, tucking his pale blond hair up and out of sight.

Four years ago, to the day, he'd first laid eyes on a head of black spikes and the radiant grin of Zackary Fair. The man was now his best friend, a First Class, and still as bubbly as ever. How Zack managed to put up with everything he wasn't really sure. It didn't matter though. No matter who you were, you could go to Zack to cheer you up in minutes.

Unless you were Kunsel. Who happened to be hopelessly in love with said bubbly, First Class best friend.

He made his way down the hall, stopping once to take a pile of papers that had been left in an empty garbage can.

"At least Reno keeps his promises," he muttered to himself, pocketing a white, unmarked envelope that had been hidden in the rubbish. He dropped the rest of it in the next trash bin.

It was just as he was pushing open the cafeteria doors that a hand wrapped around his and he found himself being forcefully hauled into a vacant bathroom.

A women's bathroom.

He opened his mouth to question the sudden change in scenery when a tie was stuffed into it, muffling his words. His hands were cuffed together just as a head of auburn hair came into view. Genesis Rhapsodos shoved him backwards and then down onto a toilet.

"Get his feet," the man commanded and all too soon he found his legs spread, ankles tied to the stall posts.

His eyes widened behind his helmet when two other faces joined the smiling commander. General Sephiroth and Cloud Strife stood next to him, all three looking far too pleased. No wonder everything happened so fast...

"Genesis, he can't speak," the General pointed out. "We're here to make him talk, not play bondage games."

"Right, sorry. Habit I suppose."

The tie was tugged out of his mouth and he licked his lips. Obviously something was going on here. "Sirs?"

"Third Class Kunsel, we are onto you," Genesis declared, giving him a narrow look.

"And we think you're an idiot," this from the tiny blond that was clinging to the General's hand.

Kunsel tilted his head a bit, not stupid enough to voice his opinions. "...really?" This could probably prove useful in some way...

"Yes," Sephiroth intoned. "You really should just say it."

"But since you can't, we're going to help you."

They all smiled down at him and for the first time in his life, Kunsel fully realized what Zack meant when he vehemently cried 'bat-shit-crazy'.

...

Three hours.

He'd been tied to a toilet- a women's toilet- for _three fucking hours_.

Cloud was sitting outside of the stall reading a book. After the three had a good laugh, and of course, snapped some pictures, the General and Commander had left the bathroom. Evidently the little blond was enough to keep him there. He'd nearly laughed at that. Until he'd realized the cuffs currently around his wrists were designed to restrain a First Class.

As if sensing Kunsel's thoughts, Cloud looked up and smiled hesitantly at him. "I'm...sorry about all this. You really should just tell him."

"Tell who what?"

A blond eyebrow rose. Cloud was obviously picking some things up from his lovers. "Zack," he said simply. He hopped up to his feet and came to stand right in front of Kunsel. "Can I take your helmet off?"

"No," he snapped.

Cloud's outstretched hand jerked back and he nodded quickly. "Sorry. I was just curious."

"You and everyone else," Kunsel sighed.

The door creaked open and Cloud grinned. "Here's your chance, just got for it, okay?" The little blond poked the side of his mouth. "Smile," he whispered then slipped around the stall.

"Spike?" Zack's voice echoed in the room and Kunsel felt panic rise in his chest.

No doubt the General and Rhapsodos were listening in, possibly blocking the door even.

"Over there, Zack." He heard Cloud direct his friend, assuming he was pointing to the stall that he was currently tied to.

The door slid shut with an audible snap.

Zack's footsteps clicked on the floor and, had Kunsel been in any other situation, he might have laughed at the shocked expression on his friend's pretty face. "K-kunsel?"

"Hey man, could you untie my feet?"

"What the hell!" Zack yelped, completely ignoring his question. "Why the fuck are you...tied to a toilet?"

"Your guess is as good as mine."

A muffled shout came from the direction of the door. "Liar! Just say it!"

"Say what?" Zack took a hesitant step closer to him. "Man, seriously. Why are you tied down to a toilet? In the women's bathroom?"

Kunsel scowled at him, not that he could see it. His legs were starting to hurt. "I'm supposed to say something to you."

"Really? What is it?" His friend perked up instantly. Honestly, if Zack had a tail, Kunsel wouldn't have been surprised if it started wagging.

A lock clicked from the door and he let out a frustrated sigh.

He was really going to have to do this...

"I'll tell you if you take my helmet off and come here."

"R-really? Wait...take your helmet off?"

"Mhmm. Hurry up."

"Okay, okay. Calm down, mister."

"Zack," he snapped. "I'm tied to a fucking toilet and have been for the last three hours. I'm hungry and I have to piss."

A snort came from the man as he stepped up and grabbed the bottom of his helmet, pulling gently. "Damn, three hours?"

Kunsel chose to ignore him, instead he shook out his hair and looked up at his friend. Zack's shocked expression was more satisfying than he'd originally imagined.

"Wow, Kunsel. You're fuckin' pretty."

Okay, maybe it wasn't that satisfying. "I'm not _pretty_."

"Uh, yeah. You are. It's okay man. Fuck," Zack leaned in, using one hand to brush some of his hair away from his face. "How do you get it so soft?"

"Windex."

"What?"

"Win-dex," he repeated. "Someone told me it makes your hair soft, not that it's important. Listen, I want to get out of here so shut up for a second."

He shifted uncomfortably on the toiled and let out a slow breath. Cloud's words echoed in his mind and he nodded once for self assurance. "Come closer."

With only a tiny bit of hesitation, Zack did so and Kunsel took his chance. He leaned up and brushed his lips along Zack's in a chaste kiss. Much to his chagrin, he felt his cheeks tinge pink as he pulled back.

Zack's blue-violet eyes blinked down at him. "You kissed me."

"Yeah."

"You really kissed me?"

"Yes, Zack."

"...why?"

Kunsel scowled, teal eyes narrowing at his idiotic friend. "Do I really need to spell it out for you?"

A chorus of yeses came from the doorway. How the hell had he forgotten about those three?

"Fine, Zack Fair, you are an idiot so I'll say this once. I. Fucking. Love. You. You, bloody fucking idiot." He dipped his head, not at all happy to be admitting his biggest- obviously least well kept- secret.

The silence that followed was deafening.

Finally, when he could stand it no longer, he looked up and found Zack much closer than he'd thought the man would be. A huge grin was plastered firmly across his face. "Really?" He asked, rocking on the balls of his feet; reminding Kunsel of an excited puppy.

"Really. Please untie my feet..."

"In a minute. I have something to say." Zack's grin widened. "You, are an idiot too. Because if you were half as intelligent as you claim to be you would have know that 'I fucking love you' too."

He couldn't help it- he laughed.

He'd woken up, thinking his day would be normal only to be grabbed by two SOLDIER Firsts, one being General Sephiroth himself, stuffed onto a women's toilet, tied up and made to confess his love to his best friend- all while being half starving and having to pee.

Speaking of which...

"Zack, that's great. I'm really happy you love me and that I love you and that everything is all sparkly in the world, but if you don't untie me this instant so I can pee I will kick you in the head the first chance I get. Now. Untie me!"

...

...

**:D**


	13. Cloud: Expressive

**A/N: Inspired by Cloud's lip reading in KittenFair's 'Sweeter Than Honey'. Who! I'm doing a collab with! You can find it on our joint page 'Rewrite the Past' and yes, it is a time travel piece. The prologue is up and it's going to be a long ride. **

**Rating: T**

**Warnings: There is an excessive amount of swearing, please be warned. **

...

...

**Expressive**

There was something about laughter that just pissed Genesis Rhapsodos off.

More specifically, there was something about a little blond trooper's laughter that _really _pissed him off. It was always directed at him- and that...that was a problem.

Two weeks! Two fucking weeks and every single time he saw the blond, he snorted, clapped a hand over his mouth to muffle the hysterical laughter and ran in the opposite direction.

Every.

Single.

Time.

Genesis crushed the stack of papers in his hand and stalked down the hall said blond had just fled from. "What the fuck is his problem?" He growled. It wasn't his appearance- Genesis had checked. There was nothing in his hair, nothing on his face, no kick me sign, no unicorn stickers, no toilet paper stuck to his boots, his fly was up.

There was nothing wrong with him!

Disgusted, he threw the papers in the garbage, fuck whatever they were and fuck whoever they were supposed to go to. At this point, he just didn't care.

He was tired of being laughed at.

It didn't help matters that the blond trooper was the same one he'd been eyeing since Zackary pointed him out- cute as hell too with those big blue eyes and that hair that looked so-.

He froze.

"Zackary." Without a second thought, he pulled out his PHS and quickly found the puppy's number.

"Yellow!"

"It's 'hello' Zackary. How many times must I tell you that? You weren't born in a damn barn! Now, that trooper you were showing me two weeks ago, the blond with the chocobo's ass for hair, who is he?"

There was a snort from the other side of the line and a gentle rustling. "Why?"

"Damn it, Zackary, tell me this instant or I'll give Reno your spare keycard!"

He heard Zack gasp, "_You're_ the one who stole it? I told Angeal you did it! I _told_ him and he didn't listen to me!"

"Puppy," he snapped. "Focus. The name. You have four seconds or Reno gets a free ride to your underwear."

"You wouldn't..."

"Three, Fou-"

"His name's Cloud! Cloud Strife. Short, blond hair, blue eyes, likes cats, hates dogs, eats too much ramen, runs like a maniac, lives in building H, third floor, room 337. Please don't give it to Reno, please? Please, I'll do anything!"

Genesis paused at that. "Anything...?"

"Anything," was the quick reply. "I'm tired of that asshole stealing my favorite pairs. I've spent at least a thousand gil on boxers in the last month! _Month_, Genesis! Can you believe that?"

"I honestly do not care about your under garment issues, Puppy. I do care about this frie-" His sentence was cut off as a soft giggle came from somewhere in front of him. He glanced up past his fingers, not remembering even putting his hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose, and narrowed his eyes.

"_Cloud_," he hissed, dropping his hand and pulling the PHS away from his face.

The blond, once again, clapped a hand over his mouth, failing to stifle the laughter. In passing, Genesis noted that this _Cloud_ had a lovely laugh- soft, musical, he could like it. If only it weren't directed at him so damn often.

He took a step forward and Cloud took one back, still laughing.

"_Run, Spike! Run! Just turn and run!" _Zack was shouting and he scowled further.

"Shut up!" He snapped down at the phone, closing it and pocketing it roughly. "You!" He shouted at Cloud, "Why the fuck are you always laughing at me?"

Blue eyes widened and Cloud coughed, choking on his own laughter. He gave a rather poor salute and wheezed out something that might have been a 'sir' before turning on his heel and taking Zackary's advice.

"Hey! Get back here!" He stamped his foot once, fully expecting the trooper to listen to him and felt his mouth drop open when, instead, the blond skidded to a stop at the far corner of the hall.

"Are you fucking bat shit insane?" Cloud yelled at him, still grinning like the idiot Genesis was starting to believe he was. "I'm not fucking suicidal."

With that, Cloud disappeared around the corner, leaving Genesis to gape after him.

"What. The. Fuck," Genesis snarled.

His mood only darkened when he glanced around to find the hall's occupant silent and valiantly fighting off their own laughter.

Later...Director Lazard would be thankful that Shin-Ra spared to expense when building with SOLDIERs in mind.

A whole floor...really, did Genesis _have_ to be so temperamental?

...

Sopping wet and sentenced to night guard for the next month, Genesis was more pissed off than he could ever remember being. He stomped down the hall, hair plastered to his face, and dripping all over the expensive carpet.

"The fire wasn't even that bad," he muttered to himself. "Fucking Lazard blew the whole thing completely out of proportion. So we lost some moldy old classrooms? Who the fuck even uses them?"

He continued to mutter, finally reaching the elevator just as the doors opened. He stepped in and jabbed the button for his floor.

"I need to change my damn clothes. Fucking feels like I took a shower...I stink too."

A snort from the opposite corner of the contraption caught his attention. His eyes widened as he glanced over at wild yellow spikes. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Going to visit Zack, sir." Cloud smiled up at him, his scarf touching his chin.

The doors slid closed and Genesis took a step toward the little blond. "This is all _your_ fault."

"Mine? I'm not the one who did whatever it was you did to the floor," Cloud snapped back, smashing himself against the far wall.

"Yes, actually, it is your fault! If you wouldn't fucking laugh in my face every damned time you see me none of this would have happened. Your. Fault."

"No, it's not!" Blue eyes glared up at him, losing their humor almost immediately. "I'm not the one who prances around, muttering under his breath about how the General sleeps with more stuffed animals than a person can count, or how Commander Hewley has sexual innuendos on his underwear. If it weren't for _you_ I wouldn't know that Lazard is sleeping with Reno, who's also screwing the president's son, who's in love with a Turk that isn't Reno. I wouldn't know that the cafeteria lady with the red curls spits in Hojo's food when he's not looking and that the Turk Commander likes pink silk sheets. I wouldn't know that your favorite color is white, that your shampoo is shipped to you from home, that you have a tattoo on your ass of a duck that you blame the General for, and that your socks keep going missing. You mutter too much! You're always talking! You never _shut up!_"

The blond ended his rant with a huff, crossing his arms over his chest as Genesis stared at him, mouth agape.

"How the ever loving fuck do you manage to hear me?" Genesis sputtered, waving his hands wildly and giving in to the urge to stamp his foot for the second time that day.

"I thought that was kind of obvious, _sir_." Cloud raised a gloved hand and tapped his own lips. "I read lips."

"Y-you're stalking me so you can read my lips?"

"I wouldn't say that."

"Oh?" Genesis arched an eyebrow. "What _would _you say then, you little spy?"

Cloud glared up at him. "I'd say you're pretty beautiful and that I was trying to get up the guts to talk to you but you kept-kept saying all of this bizarre shit and I couldn't help but laugh! And by the time you noticed me you were already pissed because I kept laughing at you."

"...what?"

"Oh for planets sake!" The trooper grabbed a fistful of his shirt and yanked him down to eye level. "I think you're fucking amazing and I want to go out with you."

Before he could think of a reply, his lips were being pressed against the soft ones of the little blond before him.

It was quick and chaste and...and Genesis wanted more!

He blinked, trying to clear his thoughts as Cloud let go and side stepped around him.

"You had better not leave agai-" His words cut off abruptly when he turned around and bumped into Cloud who was frozen in the middle of the elevator.

Evidently the doors had opened at some point.

Angeal Hewley, General Sephiroth, and Zackary Fair were all leaning up against the doors, the youngest holding a video camera whose little red light was blinking merrily. Sephiroth smirked at the two of them, looking far too satisfied.

He watched as the General held out a hand to his childhood friend and wiggled his fingers. "Pay up, that's...two thousand I believe."

Angeal tried and failed to scowl at the other man, even as he reached into his pocket and withdrew a worn wallet.

"What the hell!" Genesis growled. "What are you three idiots doing?"

"Recording the best moment in your life," Zack supplied, pointing at the camera. "Aren't you gonna kiss him or something?"

"Zack!"

"What, Cloudy? You said it! He's hot, and so are you. You asked him out and he hasn't given you an answer."

"You have a point, pup. What _are_ you going to say, Genesis?"

"I too am interested to know the outcome."

He gaped at his friends, his mouth working but no sound coming out. Finally, he snapped it closed and glanced down at Cloud. The blond trooper was beet red, hiding behind his scarf. Genesis briefly wondered what happened to all that fire from before.

With a sound somewhere between a whimper and a growl, he grabbed Cloud's shoulder and spun him around. "You're annoying and you piss me off."

"And you're a bitch," Cloud snapped. Ah hah, there was that bite.

"Touché. You stalked me and laughed in my face."

"You say ridiculous shit and sleep with an apple pillow. An apple! Seriously? Who does that?"

"Shut up," Genesis yelled, clapping a hand over Cloud's mouth. "Listen, you little shit. You're a pain in the ass. I'm dripping wet and stuck on night guard for the next two months. _Thanks to you_. You're also really damn adorable and yes, I would fucking love to go out with you. Right after we kill them and get that tape."

He let go of Cloud, eyebrow arched and holding out a hand.

A loud 'awwwww' was heard from behind them and Cloud nodded. "Deal. You kill them, blood is gross. I'll get the camera."

...

...

**I have an excuse. Somewhere! Damn, have I mentioned how much I love Genesis as well as Kunsel? And Seph, and Zack, and 'Geal, and Tseng and...and...**


	14. Zack: Popsicles

**A/N: I can write again *_* OMG. Anyway, thank LaLa for this. She said something about popsicles in the winter and, well, I finally found a secret for Zack. **

**Rating: T**

**Warnings: Language**

...

...

**Reverse Psychology**

Zackary Fair bounced down the halls of Shin-Ra, grinning widely and sucking on a lime green popsicle. Now, Angeal was used to such displays- being the puppy's mentor would do that to a person. The General, he honestly didn't care. Genesis Rhapsodos and his best friend Cloud Strife...well, they weren't so used to it.

Yet.

"It's two degrees outside," Genesis hissed from behind, what used to be, a potted plant of some kind. The fur parka he had wrapped around himself just barely showed his scarf wrapped face. Needless to say, the commander didn't exactly enjoy the cold.

Cloud shrugged, tugging gently on the sleeves of his sweater. "Zack's weird," he said slowly.

"Weird is purposefully mismatching your socks. Weird is picking out all the blue fruit loops from your cereal to make a tower. _Weird_ is Angeal making a teddy bear shaped birthday cake for _Tseng_ of all people. Zackary Fair is beyond weird. He is absolutely bat shit," Genesis replied with a huff, crossing his arms and looking more like an annoyed bird than anything else.

Biting back a giggle, Cloud shrugged and tugged on Genesis' gloved hand. "Why don't we go ask him?"

"Are you insane?" Genesis hissed. "You know what happens when you ask the puppy questions."

At that, Cloud froze. Genesis...had a point.

The last time he'd asked about anything Cloud had ended up naked in a dinosaur pool on the roof and drinking hot chocolate...he really didn't want to experience that again. The General had been less than pleased when Lazard had emailed him the pictures.

Shaking his head, he ducked back behind the plant. "You're right."

"Of course I am. Now, let's ask Angeal."

...

"I have no idea."

"Angeal," the redhead whined. "He's your student. You have to know these things."

"I'm sorry, Genesis. I really don't know how his mind works."

The pair in front of Angeal's desk sighed in defeat and shuffled out of the office, closing the door softly behind them. That had been a complete waste of time.

"Let's just ask him, Gen."

"Ask who what?"

A shriek came from the blond and he launched himself at Genesis, smashing up against the puffy material of his parka and whipping around.

Reno arched an eyebrow at the pair, twirling his EMR lazily. "Yo, you alright?"

"R-Reno you-"

A hand clamped over his mouth and Genesis glared at the Turk. "What do you know about Fair and the popsicles."

"Eh?" Reno blinked at the two SOLDIERs in confusion.

"The popsicles," Genesis snapped, letting go of Cloud in favor of yanking on Reno's collar. "What. Do. You. Know."

"Watch the suit, yo! I don't even know what the hell you're babblin' about."

With a scathing look, Genesis let go of Reno and huffed, pushing him back. "Useless," he muttered. "Absolutely useless. Let's go Cloud."

Reno watched the two go, rubbing at his neck and trying to smooth his collar. Tseng was going to kill him. The man hated wrinkles. And all because those mako drenched crazies were just that.

Crazy as fuck.

...

Genesis smiled brightly at Cloud when the elevator doors closed and the blond let out all the laughter he'd been holding back.

"I love it when you do that," he choked.

The commander gave him a smug look and swooped down to place a kiss on Cloud's cheek, the parka's collar tickling him and sending him back into a fit of giggles. "They leave you alone if they think you're two crayons away from going into a blood thirsty rage."

Just then the elevator slowed to a stop and the doors slid open, admitting a smiling spiky haired First Class. "Cloudy! Gen-Gen! What's up?" Zack asked around the popsicle stick in his mouth.

"Why are you eating a popsicle?" Genesis demanded, yanking on the wooden stick. "It's bloody, fucking cold!"

The dark haired man giggled and reached over to ruffle Cloud's blond spikes. "It's a secret."

"You will tell me, Zackary or I will teach you the tango!" Genesis snapped, jabbing him in the chest. "Now, spit it out!"

Sighing dramatically, Zack shrugged, not at all worried about dancing lessons. He already knew the tango. So take that, Genesis! "It keeps me warm."

"..." The silence in the elevator was deafening.

Cloud and Genesis shared and equally confused look and then turned back to Zack. The redhead made some kind of strange hand gesture followed by small noises of confusion and disbelief coming from somewhere beneath the scarf before he poked Cloud's shoulder and the blond took over.

"What?"

Zack shrugged and pulled the popsicle stick out from between his teeth. "If I eat the popsicle then my tongue gets cold. And if your tongue had ice on it then it's really, really cold. Colder than the outside. Colder than snow. Colder than Mr. Frosty the ice king. So if my insides think it's cold then my outsides are just gonna chill and stop shivering. To summarize, I'm really just using reverse psychology through my taste-buds to combat cold weather conditions," he finished with a smile.

When the two finally came out of their shock, Zack was happily babbling about foot cream and needing to buy more noodles.

How those things were related...Cloud really didn't know...

However, he did know that Zack was smart. Really, really smart. In a scary, weirder than weird kind of fucked up way...

He was so glad Zack was on his side.

...

...

**Zack is weird! But I really think he's brilliant and likes to put up an airheaded face for everyone else. Underestimation at it's finest!**


End file.
